The telling truths: 10 reasons why dating in your 30s is different
Dating in your 30s brings into a play a new set of rules. Here are 10 things you wish someone had told you about making the best of being single and 30. If you play it right, the best bit is that dating in your 30s can be like having your cake and eating it too.
1. Ain’t nobody got time for that: It turns out once you reach the post 30 age group, time becomes a more valued commodity. Life is busy and adulting is demanding. There is no time to waste on dead-end dates, and you find yourself choosing quality connections over a larger quantity of good time get-togethers!
2. Deal breakers are actually a real thing: When you were 21, if he didn’t want children, or if she wanted to travel for a few years, it wasn’t a big deal. It was hot and you were having fun. Now your relationships tend to have more of a future focus and if your goals and values aren’t in line, it’s not worth hanging around for.
3. It’s a bit of a pressure cooker: As the years have passed, friends have settled down, married off and are now even having children. Your younger self got away without the needling questions at family functions and jokes about when you’re going to meet your match. Between friends trying to set you up and family constantly reminding you that the clock is ticking, the pressure can be rather unpleasant. Know that you’re not alone in it!
4. Game playing is passé: Guys have a notorious reputation for game playing, but both single men and single woman have engaged in the power play of casual dating from time to time. Feeling hard to get can be a great ego boost, but dating in your 30s is about cutting to the chase. Being more comfortable in your skin, it’s about playing to win a partner, not a power play! Dating in your 30s is about getting real!
5. You’ve got the dating landscape dialed: The great thing about dating in your 30s is that you know the ropes by now. You know if he’s too smooth it’s not actually charming - and understand your own boundaries and preferences better too - so you don’t need to chase him around the club for affirmation. A little older and wiser, you can meet people and read the tell-tale signs with a bit more ease and expertise than a twenty-year-old.
6. The playing field has changed: There is a shift that takes place slowly over the years. As friends pair off, your social circle changes and there is a shift with time and life lived - singles in this age group adjust to a new understanding about meeting new people. Looking for something a little more serious, the rules are different. Don’t be late, ghosting is for kids, share real details on your dating profile and basic manners go a long way.
7. It's tough stuff out there: At times it can feel like a hard slog out there. For women, the sporadic comment referring to the infernal tick-tock of your biological clock or for men, feeling like all the single ladies are already off the market, means that dating in your 30s is tough stuff sometimes. After a long day of work, it’s easier to sit on the sofa than head out for happy hour, but you still want to meet the elusive partner you hope to build a life with. The double whammy of being a little more selective and the dating pool now being a little sparse can make it much harder to meet a sexy, suitable single. We get it. Sometimes it’s going to be frustrating.
8. Age appropriate etiquette: It’s a good idea to know how to coordinate a grown-up date. Although dancing until the early hours is still fun from time to time, you would probably prefer a classy bar for a quiet drink to get to know each other, and if you make it to a dinner date, make a little effort to put your best foot forward. That doesn’t necessarily mean fine dining, but the mass market chain down the road is not the best way to impress your date.
9. Lost in transition: It’s ok to feel a little lost in transition. Being 30 and single is maybe not what you imagined for yourself and you’re still figuring it all out. You’re not quite old yet, but you don’t feel young anymore either. The hangovers last all weekend and you’re saving for a long haul holiday or even your starter home. Long gone are the days of blowing your salary on clothes, cocktails and clubs. Finding your niche is part and parcel of growing up so keep an open mind and enjoy what you learn along the way.
10. Dating apps can now do the legwork: Dating apps are a game changer. The uptake has been so significant that today 1 in 3 marriages start off online. No more standing around a bar sipping on a Chardonnay hoping prince charming will walk in. Now you can sort and select your matches from the comfort of your couch. Admittedly, online dating has a bad rep for swiping your way straight to one night stands. But you have a wide choice of free dating apps to a premium dating service, like EliteSingles. Finding and meeting real people is now more accessible with access to the best dating apps and matchmaking algorithms out there! That’s a wrap on the honest truths about dating in your 30s. And as promised, it’s not all doom and gloom. Knowing the dating deal, you can take all the wins and losses in your stride and save yourself from time wasters and heartbreakers. So how do you get your love life off the ground?