Dating after 40 has some serious perks. Here's what makes this chapter stand out.
Questioning the standard “get married, have kids, and live happily ever after” narrative is common nowadays. This means that plenty of people are now realizing the benefits of being 40 and single. Here we take a look at seven perks of flying solo in your forties.
Attitudes towards marriage have been changing over the years. In the US, data shows that only half of adults are married, whilst 40% of Americans believe marriage is outdated. There’s clearly been a sea change in matrimonial matters since the 20th century.
But aside from the figures, it doesn’t change the fact that we still feel a lot of pressure to find someone to settle down with.
If you’re 40 and single, you may feel like you’ve missed your chance for love, or that your life is somehow less full than you’re married friends. But with a little change of perspective, this couldn’t be further from reality.
40 and Single; the Perks
We believe there’s so much to be excited about when you are 40 and single. Here are some of the surefire perks.
You have fewer commitments
Unless you have kids from a previous relationship, when you’re 40 and single you have no commitments. No one to take care of, no one to fit your schedule around, and no one that you have to compromise with.
That means you can do exactly when you want, whenever you want. You can sleep in, stay out all night, plan a spontaneous weekend away, or eat whatever you feel like. You can enjoy spending your time however you choose to.
Single people often take this freedom for granted when they have it, and don’t realize what they had until it’s gone. So make the most of being independent while you can!
You decide how you spend your money
When you’re in a relationship and living together, it makes sense that you handle your finances as a unit. That means you usually have to run big purchases past your partner, and justify how you’re spending money.
But you don’t have to do this when you’re single. You can treat yourself to regular massages, go to the ballet, or drop a month’s paycheck on that new purse if you want to… as long as you can afford it of course.
You spend more time with friends.
Married life in your 40s revolves around your spouse and children. This is great if you have a strong relationship, but it’s not the same as spending time with friends. And this tends to be something we make less time for as we get older. But if you’re 40 and single, you’re more likely to have time to spend with friends of the same sex.
This is so important, especially at this age. As a woman, it’s a time when your body is changing and kids, if you have them, are flying the nest. As a man, male bonding is essential to both physical and mental health. Above all, it’s good to be around people who understand how you’re feeling.
Sex is on the menu
Whether you’re single by choice or not, the good news is you can avoid mediocre sex that doesn’t do anything for you. That’s not to say married sex can’t be great, it’s just that you have more choice when you’re single. Variety is the spice of life after all!
If you’re not feeling it, you can enjoy relaxing in a big bed every night. When you feel turned on, you can masturbate or find a partner to fulfill your sexual needs. We’re not suggesting you go dive headlong into hookup culture. However, there’s literally no shortage of like-minded singles out there looking for romance.
You can focus on your career
Whether or not your career has been a priority, you now have a beautiful opportunity to pour your energy into your work.
And if you’re not happy in your job, you can use that energy to start a side hustle. Think about what you love doing, and whether you can potentially make money from it. It may sound cliche, but there’s never been a better time to do what you love and get paid for it.
You take responsibility for your happiness
Too many of us rely on other people to make us happy. More often than not, our partner takes on that responsibility, without even knowing it.
That said, no relationship will make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. And being 40 and single helps you recognize this. If you’re not quite there yet, now is a great time to start working on yourself.
Dating is way easier
The older you get, the easier dating gets, simply because you care so much less about what other people think of you.
It’s similar to the way children are fearless because they aren’t even aware they’re being looked at or judged. Then we grow up and enter this middle phase of our life where we’re incredibly self-focused and conscious of how others see us. Eventually, we grow out of it and return to how we used to be as children. Free, confident in ourselves, and knowing exactly what we want.
Dating in your forties is a lot of fun, too. Dating apps mean there are so many more options today to meet new people. The main difference between being 40 and single compared to your twenties is that you have a much clearer idea of who you are and what you want. And that’s a pretty huge edge to have!