Dan Hackett, 08.11.2017

Cute names to call your girlfriend (and a few best avoided)

So, you’ve followed the rest of the sterling advice dished out betwixt the hallowed digital pages of the EliteSingles magazine, and have bagged yourself a girlfriend. Very well done to you. Now though, you are faced with a pressing new dilemma: what on earth should you call her? You can’t just call her 'Emma' forever, because a) that’s kinda formal and b) chances are that’s not even her name.

Fortunately for you, we have decided to create a follow up to our previous offering, ‘cute names to call your boyfriend’. Behold: below we have assembled the essential ranked list of cute names to call your girlfriend (plus a few shockers for good measure).

20 Cute Names to Call Your Girlfriend: Ranked

Angel

A nice safe choice to kick us off. Could either be used to compare your partner to a glowing religious creature toting a halo and a harp, or to Angel Food Cake - after all, she's sweet and you can't get enough of her, right?

Verdict: 8/10

Cutie

Easy to pull off, low risk, highly effective if enunciated with an affectionate grin. For maximum impact, use immediately after your partner has done something unintentionally lovely, such as catching a moth and setting it free outside.

Verdict: 7/10

Beautiful

A classic, but way too obvious. We call things beautiful every day. A cloud is beautiful. A meatball sandwich is beautiful. A nicely drawn graph is beautiful. Shall I compare thee to an Excel spreadsheet? Try harder.

Verdict: 6/10

Boo

Commonplace in hip hop and pop music since the noughties, the internet offers several explanations as to the term’s origins:

  1. A corruption of the French ‘beauté’.
  2. A corruption of the German ‘beute’.
  3. A shortening of the slang term ‘booty’, employed when referring to a woman’s buttocks. Ah, romance.

Verdict: 5/10

Bae

A shortening of ‘babe’, because pronouncing the second ‘b’ is too much effort. Expect the ‘e’ to also be dropped within the next three years, when we will all be calling each other ‘Ba’ across candlelit dinner tables.

Verdict: 4/10

Clumsy

Perfect if your partner is the kind of girl who is forever tripping over the rug, setting the oven ablaze, electrocuting herself while changing light bulbs, and reversing the car over the neighbor’s cat.

Verdict: 5/10

Baby Cakes

‘Baby Cakes’ was a song by British garage trio ‘3 of a Kind’ which charted at number 1 (yes, actual number 1; this was the most popular song across the entire United Kingdom, the land of Emmeline Pankhurst and John Keats) in 2004. If you are a die-hard ‘3 of a Kind’ fan, then by all means, commandeer ‘Baby Cakes’ for your loved one.

Verdict: 2.5/10

Dearest

The only people allowed to use this term sans irony are 96 years old, British World War II veterans with gigantic mustaches, who stormed D-Day and described it as ‘a bit of a pickle’; the same caliber of person who can pull off saying ‘tally-ho old boy’ and ‘toodle pip’.

Verdict: 5/10

My Love

Classy, intimate, and sweet, you’ll get a lot of mileage out of this one. Best shy away from ‘my lover’ though, unless you want to audition for a spot in an overly-dramatic afternoon soap opera.

Verdict: 9/10

Pussycat

Who are you, Tom Jones? Get out of here.

Verdict: 2/10

Sugar

It doesn’t take an exhaustive amount of mental gymnastics to deduce where this common term of endearment originated. Sugar is sweet, and sweet things are nice. Girlfriends are also nice. And lo, a classic nickname is born. See also: honey, peach and (if you must) treacle.

Verdict: 6/10

Dude

Not for everyone by a long stretch, and if you disagree passionately then, by all means, vent your fury in the comment section. However, based on absolutely no empirical evidence whatsoever, we’re going to say that partners who breezily toss the term ‘dude’ back and forth once in a while have far more fun and far fewer arguments about electricity bills (they're too busy watching The Big Lebowski).

Verdict: 8/10

Princess

You may not walk away with the trophy for originality and it ranks a little too highly on the cringe-o-meter, but if uttered sparingly and with a wry smile (ideally while presenting her with breakfast in bed), you might be onto a winner.

Verdict: 7/10

Baby Girl

A very cute name to call your girlfriend on a Sunday morning when you’re dancing around the kitchen together to Frank Sinatra. A highly embarrassing name to accidentally call your girlfriend in front of all your football friends while watching the game.

Verdict: 7/10

Wifey

We all have that exasperatingly cheerful Facebook friend who posts endless statuses about their beloved ‘hubby’ (luvli night with the hubby! #vino #lovemyman) and we can all agree it is a very annoying term. However, next to the lexical travesty that is ‘wifey’, ‘hubby’ might as well be ‘cellar door’.

Verdict: 3.5/10

The Missus

Not unless you are a character in a Guy Ritchie movie.

Verdict: 1/10

The Ol’ Ball and Chain

One of the best cute names to call your girlfriend if you’ve just purchased a new sofa and fancy testing it out for the night.

Verdict: 0/10

Honey Bunny

The perfect name to call your partner as you draw matching revolvers and attempt to rob a downtown diner, only to be foiled by a scripture-quoting Samuel L. Jackson (that last sentence contained spoilers).

Verdict: 5/10

Khaleesi

For those of you who can tell a Tyrion from a Targaryen (these are Game of Thrones references, for those of you who have yet to be indoctrinated), you will know the reverence, power and sheer badassery that this name conveys.

In fact, we’re putting our foot down and saying that this is the best one. No, it’s no use arguing, Khaleesi is the winner. This wasn’t even supposed to be a competition but look: this is the best nickname for your girlfriend. Empower her, admire her, support her, and indulge your inner dweeb all at the same time with this nerd-tastic moniker.

Best to only use it in private though, lest your non-fantasy-show-liking friends overhear and you are forever more heckled as ‘elf boy’.

Verdict: 1000/10

Read more: Discover 15 ways to really say 'I love you' that your partner will adore

If you perused the above list and found it entirely uninspired and redundant (first of all how dare you), it is possible to take another route to nickname paradise: you can conjure a pet name out of the ether like a love-struck wizard. In reality, the best and most meaningful nicknames for loved ones aren’t plucked arbitrarily from a list on the internet, but are reminders of the close bond the pair of you share; an in-joke that only the two of you understand. Spend time with your loved one and see what it is about them that truly inspires you, and you’ll be well on your way to unearthing those cute names to call your girlfriend.

And if said girlfriend is still only a twinkle in your eye? Join EliteSingles of course!

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