Want to find love online? You need the right mindset, and the right tools for the job. Here, we look at the five things that can help you find online…
Living and loving in a modern context makes it seem like we can gratify all our desires instantly. From our apps to our favorite stores, to the way our urban cities operate, the message we get is: you can have whatever you want, any time. But in a world of increasing social connectivity, why is it that we’re all so lonely?
We crave meaningful relationships that, while few in number, are rich in quality. We crave those awe-inspiring moments when we realize the person we’re connecting with has shared the same experiences and we live for those instances in which we’re hit with the feeling that a relationship we’re present in has the quality of being “fated”. We want, in short, depth of connection and in our romantic relationships, we are always looking for “The One”, a person who is going to mirror us and help us grow while we support them in the same way.
Falling in love can be a rollercoaster ride tied to lust and infatuation in the beginning but finding a soulmate — someone who sets your heart afire and brings passion along with commitment — is a worthy kind of love you should aspire to. There is a myth that there is only one soulmate for you and finding a connection like this is rare but the truth is that finding your soulmate and falling in love with them is not only common, it’s what we all can achieve. If you aspire to a relationship deeply rooted in beauty and faith – whether that’s Christian dating, meeting Jewish singles or simply a shared spirituality – read on.
EliteSingles has successfully matched thousands of soulmate couples so we’re no stranger to finding and keeping true love in your life. Because our service starts with successful singles who know what they’re looking for, and we bring couples together based on our unique “Five Factor Model” of personality traits, our couples are don’t just find “matches”, they find their “meant to be”.
How To Find Your Soulmate By Looking Inward
If you want to find a relationship or your next date, there are several things you can do. Value yourself and take care of your body, pamper yourself, dress well, be open to trying new things, put yourself in social situations and follow good dating etiquette. You know: the same old dating advice. But how to find your soulmate is a completely different ball game because what you’re looking for is something far more meaningful and long-lasting.
Many singles who are looking to find their soulmates don’t have the whole picture — they know they want to experience that thrill of love and recognition but they don’t have faith that the person meant for them is out there. This is usually because they don’t have faith that they’re worthy of love. They think that finding their soulmate is something that happens to them. But what if we turn that conventional thinking on its head? After all, that’s what you’ll need to attract your soulmate.
Instead of going on dates that lead nowhere, look inward. Where are you at in your life and what do you really want? Many singles want to use online dating to find their soulmate but they don’t know what it is that they really want from their next relationship. It’s time to take inventory and stock of who you are. Note down the practical things about yourself — your likes and dislikes, your education level, your hobbies and your goals for example — as well as the emotional and spiritual — do you want children? Are you someone who already has a strong faith in God or wants to develop this?
Now, toy with this idea: you already know your soulmate. Does that sound untrue? Well, it may be or it may not be. The point is that finding your soulmate requires a shift in perspective and this is a very useful outlook to adopt. On some level, if you know yourself then you know what you’re looking for. Once you get clear on who you are on the inside, you can start to take responsibility to connect with yourself, to set your own boundaries and be ready to accept passionate, long-term and holistic love into your already-rich life.
Once we accept ourselves and spend time loving ourselves, when we evaluate our own worthiness and celebrate who we are and what we want from life, when we can accept these things about ourselves, our soulmate walks right into our lives.
How To Find Your Soulmate By Looking Outward
Once you’ve spent time understanding who you are and what you bring to the table, you can be ready to contemplate what you want in a partner. Running with the idea that you “already know your soulmate”, take some time to write down all the aspects you’d want in a partner. This is not a “checklist” of requirements — in fact, it’s quite the opposite.
This activity is a proven method of getting specific with what you want and getting into that mental zone of visualization. When you’re writing down all the things you’d want in your perfect soulmate, you’re also unconsciously painting all the situations and images in which you two will be committed and intimate. You’re crafting your ideal romantic relationship and you know from looking inward first that not only are you worthy of this love but that this soulmate is out there.
It’s at this point that you can begin to put yourself in social situations and keep yourself open to people that come into your life. Even if you’re an individual with strong faith, great friendships and a healthy appreciation of yourself already, living in this fast-paced modern context can make it hard to find and devote time to socializing.
And it gets a little trickier: now that you know exactly what you want in your partner (as you should!), you don’t have time to waste hanging around in bars or pubs. Let’s face it, very few meaningful relationships have started this way or continue to blossom into the long-term commitment that many singles are looking for. This is not to say it can’t happen, but the chances are significantly reduced. This is because of time, not venue; it doesn’t matter where you meet but you have to give a relationship the time it requires to get to know one another and evolve.
Many singles who use dating services like EliteSingles find it easier to be more discerning with their options, since the service is set up to deliver only a few high-quality matches that are carefully selected and manually verified by a strong support team. Once you’ve been introduced to a few matches, your search for your soulmate can move from internal to external.
Connecting in this way allows you more time to get to know your matches and find your “meant-to-be”. Because you already know what you want – you know, on a deep level, the feelings you will feel when you meet your soulmate – the journey to finding this kind of lasting love can be more enjoyable. Instead of searching for your “missing” half, you will be looking within for all the indicators of recognition to identify your soulmate.
How To Keep Your Soulmate Relationship Going Strong
When you’ve found “The One”, keeping your relationship on track is really a matter of open communication and trust. By getting clear on what you want in a partner and then celebrating and accepting yourself, you’ve already done half the work. Your soulmate has probably shown up at a point in time in your life where you were truly ready to meet them. Whether you meet online or are introduced by friends, even a soulmate relationship needs nurturing and guidance in order to flourish as a long-term commitment.
It’s likely that your soulmate shares many things in common with you. Perhaps they share the same faith because this is a very important factor to you both. They may have a similar upbringing, values, visions of what their future should look like or it may be something as simple as sharing your hobbies. But these similarities, while deepening your connection and recognition of having found your “One”, doesn’t mean that your relationship doesn’t require a commitment to growing together.
Human relationships can be messy so it’s important to trust your soulmate. Keep talking to each other and make sure to call each other out when one does something the other doesn’t like or that pushes against each other’s boundaries. In a soulmate relationship, because you’re already so well-matched, it becomes even easier to empathize with the other and understand how they must feel. But the onus is still upon you as an individual: you’ve got to make the choice to empathize with your partner and communicate with them.
Always remain in gratitude and, when it gets tough, if you can spend a few moments remembering and recounting all the things you love best about your partner, how you both found each other and know you are meant to be, working through issues becomes easy. Someday you’ll find yourself saying, “25 years…and going strong.”