Pop culture lets single women over 40 choose one of three niches: stay home and be a spinster, devote yourself to your career and be an ice-queen, or go out, meet people, and be called a cougar. Well, we’ve had enough of this stigma and stereotyping. We think single women over 40 are fantastic and make amazing partners – and we’ve found 10 reasons why.
10 reasons to be dating single women in their 40s
1. They don’t want to waste their time – or yours
Ask any millennial – dating today is a minefield of indecision. You have to play it cool, pretending like you don’t want to be dating (even if you do), just to get a foot in the door. Single women who are dating over 40 don’t have the patience for such mind-games. They’ve learned that being single can be wonderful and so they’re not willing to put their energy into anything that doesn’t seem like it’s clicking. It’s actually kind of refreshing.
2. They’re comfortable in their own skin
One of the most noticeable things about many single women in their 40s is that they radiate confidence. They’ve realized that trying to please everyone often means pleasing no-one, and that the only one guaranteed to know what you want is you. Therefore, women aged 40+ are comfortable with expressing exactly what it is they want, whether that means picking a date night restaurant or explaining what they like in the bedroom.
3. They can appreciate having loved and lost
By the time women reach their 40s, they’ve likely had more than one serious relationship. Maybe they’ve even been married before and are dating after divorce or separation. The result of this experience is often increased compassion and emotional intelligence, especially for others in the same boat. So you’ve got kids from a previous relationship, so you’ve had your heart broken, so what? Date a single woman over 40, and chances are she’ll get it.
4. They have a clear idea of what works for them
Not all of these women’s previous relationships will have ended rosily, and this too is a learning experience. Unlike someone younger, who may hold an idealized view of the kind of work it takes to help love thrive, your typical single, 40+ woman holds no such illusions. She knows what she needs to feel adored and appreciated and she knows what she’s able to give in return. That means she’s in a great place to start a truly healthy relationship.
5. They can take care of themselves
If you’re single and you’re aged over 40, you have to get really good at taking care of yourself. Without a partner around to split bills with, or to help solve any issues that crop up, these single women have learned to rely on their own know-how. Whether it’s fixing a leaky sink, whipping through their taxes, or gunning for a promotion, these independent, powerful women make strong, interesting partners. Bonus: they’re sure to keep you on your toes!
6. They can hold a conversation
This strength and independence make single women over 40 fantastic conversation partners. Not for them a stilted, tongue-tied first date: 40+ years of life experience means that they have a wealth of topics to draw on, from business to travel to hobbies. What’s more, they’re not afraid to engage others in a bit of back-and-forth – their comfort in their own skin means they may even relish the conversational challenge!
7. They know what it takes to realize ambition
Many women who are still single at 40 and beyond have made a conscious decision to focus on their careers rather than taking more traditional tracks like marriage and babies. This means that if you’re a single professional or executive who needs to balance dating with long office hours, chances are these single women will understand – they’re probably facing very similar choices! If you want an ambitious partner, a single, 40+ woman is a solid bet.
8. They know their dating priorities
A magical thing about dating after 40 is that you’ve had time to figure out what exactly it is you want from life and love. For women especially, burning questions like whether to have babies or not will likely have been answered. This may mean that they’re single moms or that they’ve decided to remain childfree: either way, without these biological pressures, single women over 40 are free to just focus on dating over the possibility of (more) kids.
9. They want rather than need a relationship
Whether it’s due to divorce or whether they’ve just never married, women who are over 40 and single have often learned the lesson that they don’t need love to define their worth. They’ve also learned that being single is better than being in a bad relationship. Sure, it might be nice to find a partner to experience life with but that’s a want, not a need. And that lack of co-dependence means they can lay the foundation for a spectacular relationship.
10. They know who they are
Similarly, by 40, both men and women have had time to figure out who exactly they are. Maybe they’re a brunch person, maybe they like sleeping late on weekends. Less frivolously, maybe they’re the marrying type, maybe they’re more into commitment without the paperwork. Dating women over 40 means dating women who have a lot of this figured out and a strong sense of self – as well as the wisdom to know there’s lots of learning to come!
READ MORE: Looking into older women dating younger men today
Single woman over 40, or looking for women dating after 40? EliteSingles is the site for you! With the majority of our members aged 35+, we’re the dating site for more mature Americans ready for real connections. Get started here!