Money Over Love: Is It Ever The Right Choice?


Should you choose money over love? Or should you go for a partner based on their personality and character? This is a dilemma that we’ve all considered at some stage. 

Money is important. It’s the currency we all live by. It pays for the houses we live in, the food we eat, and the clothes on our backs, but can money buy happiness and love

Whether we should prioritize our relationships or our bank accounts is a pretty contested question. So, here’s our take on whether it’s better to focus on money or love.

Should You Choose Money Over Love? Here’s What We Think

If one person has significantly more money, it can create a power imbalance

Money and power are closely related. When one partner makes more money than the other, it can create a strange power dynamic in their relationship.

The person with less money may feel like their opinion has less value or feel uncomfortable disagreeing with their partner because they aren’t paying their way. 

One of the signs of a good relationship is when power and responsibilities are split 50/50. However, what’s considered equal in your relationship is up to you. 

While some couples like to split their costs exactly, others prefer to divide costs proportionately according to how much each partner earns. 

Our advice? Communicate with your partner about how you’d like to divide costs. Determine a game plan that you’re both comfortable with. After all, communication is key to a happy relationship. 

Choosing money over love is superficial, but so is choosing physical beauty

It might sound shallow, but physical appearances matter in a relationship. A person’s appearance is the first thing that we see. Discovering whether or not you have shared interests or values with a potential partner usually comes secondary to feeling attracted to them. 

But beauty is superficial. It fades, it’s external, and there’s nothing substantial to it. The same can be said about money. 

By that logic, is there anything wrong with two people connecting because of money? If they’re able to build on that initial connection later, then what’s the issue?

Before you decide that opting for money over love is materialistic, maybe consider whether you’re already choosing looks over character first.

Money can buy you a lot of things, but not everything

While money, or usually the lack of it, can cause stress, upset and unhappiness, having money can cause those things too. Being rich doesn’t solve all of your problems. 

Sure, living in a mansion with fancy cars will probably bring you happiness for a few weeks, maybe even a number of months, but what then? 

Studies show that the happiness money can buy you is capped at a certain amount. True happiness has to do with how you feel about yourself and how much you enjoy spending time with the people around you. 

So while choosing money over love may get you momentary happiness, it won’t bring you lifelong fulfillment. The things that bring you that kind of happiness can’t be bought.

What will you do if the relationship ends?

What if you go for money over love and the relationship ends? Do you have an exit strategy and the know-how to earn your own money?

No matter how confident you are in a relationship, being 100% financially dependent on another person can be dangerous. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or dating, being able to thrive on your own is fundamental to living a vibrant life.

This is particularly true for women. Figuring out how to be an independent woman in a relationship can be complicated. 

So many women give up their jobs to raise children and then find themselves completely dependent on their partner financially. This means that if they want a divorce, or they need to leave the relationship for their safety, it’d be difficult to do so.

If you’re thinking of prioritizing money instead of love, make sure you still have a way of earning money for yourself or savings to fall back on. Not only will this make you feel more empowered, but it’ll give you freedom, and you can’t put a price on that.  

Choosing money over love doesn’t make you a bad person, but you probably shouldn’t go for someone solely because of their bank account balance either. 

A successful relationship should bring you happiness and support. Money can not bring you both those things forever.

So instead of choosing one over the other, why not prioritize both? That way you’ll find driven hardworking singles who you can connect with on an emotional level too. 

About the author: Shani Jay

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