Charlotte Bridge

How to write a good dating profile: The dos and don'ts

So you’re new to the online dating game and you’re finding writing an effective dating profile is trickier than you expected. You’re trying to master the art of displaying your confidence without showing off. You want to indicate your fundamental personality traits while maintaining an air of mystery. And you want to portray yourself in an attractive, flirty way without seeming forward. If that’s the case for you, EliteSingles is here to help! We’ve compiled a guide of online dating profile tips to help you write a dating profile that effectively represents you.

Relationship Coach Sandy Weiner suggests, ‘If you work hard on improving your profile, you will be in the top 10 per cent of all people dating online. You'll definitely stand out from the crowd.’ Take the time then, to complete your profile effectively. To make the process easier for you we asked some real EliteSingles members what they look for in a profile – what’s appealing in a character description and which details fail to impress and therefore will be immediately forgotten. Below is our step-by-step guide of how to write a dating profile: the dos and don’ts to help you reap in the online dating success.

Online dating profile tips - the dos and don'ts

1. It’s all about your attitude

DO Write your dating profile when you’re in a good mood

According to Judith Orloff’s article about ‘How to attract positive relationships’ on PsychologyToday, ‘The more positive energy we give off, the more we'll receive. Ditto for negativity. It works like this: Love attracts love. Grumpiness attracts grumpiness. Passion attracts passion. Rage attracts rage.‘ A confident, upbeat person exudes charm which instantly makes them more desirable. This is worth considering when writing your dating profile. A good profile is optimistic and fully completed with no empty spaces or one word answers. In order to make your dating profile desirable and memorable, show people what you’re passionate about and where your interests lie.

Top Tip: Another useful online dating profile tip is to keep it updated with new and interesting content of your life. Say you’ve recently been on an interesting trip or tried a new activity that you found you really enjoyed, add it to your profile – you never know, you might have this in common with a potential new partner.  

DON’T Use sexual innuendo

Our EliteSingles member survey about online dating profiles revealed that the biggest turnoff, according to members from countries all over the world, is sexual innuendo. 23 per cent of members concluded that it is the number one dating profile no-no, followed by negativity (22 per cent) and insufficient description (21 per cent). So when you’re sitting down to write your profile, bare this in mind. Even if you think something is funny and meant lightly, it will not be well received.

2. Take a good profile picture

DO upload a photo

A shocking 52 per cent of members surveyed said they wouldn’t even open a profile without a profile picture. Relationship coach, Sam Owen explains that ‘We build up an idea of a person’s personality by looking at their photo, how they have posed, their facial expression, the clothes they are wearing and much more. If you provide people with those cues they feel they can make more of an informed decision as to whether or not to pursue you.’

Ultimately people want to be able to relate to you online. They want to have an idea of what you’re like as a person and choosing to keep yourself anonymous, is essentially alienating yourself from your potential matches. The results also showed that members across different countries unanimously admitted that they look at a profile picture most closely on a dating profile. So take the time and effort to make sure your photo represents you properly.

Top Tip: A full length head and shoulders profile picture and ideally an action shot are a great way to add variety to your profile. An image of you engaging in a sporting activity or hobby is an excellent icebreaker and likely to attract the attention of likeminded potential matches. Choice of color may also influence how your images are perceived, as psychologists at the University of Rochester in New York found that men are more attracted to women wearing red.

DON’T Fall in to the photo traps

While it is important to include a photo in your online dating profile, you must be selective with which photos you upload. Use a recent photo (taken in the last year) that is a genuine portrayal of yourself. 80 per cent of our survey respondents said they would disapprove if their date turned up looking different from their dating profile. Resist the temptation then to use an old, flattering photo because it will only cause you problems in the long run. According to EliteSingles members, the worst common photo mistake is an image that is too revealing. 19 per cent maintained wearing sunglasses in a photo was a no go, followed by poorly photo shopped pictures with 17 per cent. So do it properly - get your friends or family to help you take a nice photo of yourself. A good tip is to take a photo outside. The natural light, particularly in the afternoon can be very flattering and bring out your best side!

3. Be yourself

DO show the real you

The secret to a good dating profile is illustrating an authentic portrayal of yourself; after all, the whole point of online dating is to find someone you’re truly compatible with. Consider the factors that make you unique and indicate them in your dating profile. As Kimberly Eclipse in her article on ‘Online dating profiles’ on PsychologyToday suggests, ‘Present yourself in an honest and authentic way– imperfections and all. Whoever is drawn to that is good for you. Whoever walks away probably wasn’t your type anyway.’ Avoid generic statements and clichés that you think people want to hear. Keep it truthful and you’ll attract the type of person you want to attract.

DON’T Tell white lies

66 per cent of our survey respondents said they wouldn’t even consider a relationship with someone who embellished their characteristics on their profile. While it may be tempting to sneak in a couple of white lies into your profile, don’t do it! You will only be doing yourself a disservice. You need to give potential partners the opportunity to fall for the real you. The saying ‘honesty is the best policy’ exists for a reason, not least because ‘it is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend,’ (according to Rebekah Doweyko, psychologist and councilor).

The online dating profile tips above will help improve your chances of finding a compatible partner. By creating a profile that truly reflects the best of you, you’re giving yourself the best chance of finding that special someone. Register with EliteSingles today and start your search.

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