Alex Rennie, 10.20.2017

Here’s how to make a guy fall in love with you in 5 steps

You’ve met Mr. Right and you’re completely besotted. Now it’s time to seal the deal and reel him in, hook, line and sinker. Figuring out how to make a guy fall in love with you is no mean feat, but it can be done. All you need is a bit of nous. Here we’ve gone through 5 simple steps to make sure you land your man and live happily ever after.

Getting a guy to fall in love with you

So you really want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you? You’ve come to the right place. As experts and general savants in the online dating game, we’ve got plenty of insights when it comes to meeting magnificent men. And after pooling our thoughts, we reckon we’ve managed to come up with five foolproof steps to make your fella swoon.

One quick caveat: we’re all mature grown-ups here. That means you’re not going to find the obvious trickery here; you can stow the killer heels and gladrags for now. Of course, it pays to take care of your appearance, but we like to think that the art of getting a guy to fall in love you isn’t solely a skin-deep enterprise. It involves genuine displays of emotionality and a certain kind of integrity to your own beliefs. T&Cs covered, let’s get started...

#1 - Be true to yourself

First things first, let’s start with the very bedrock of a relationship that can go the distance. Being true to yourself is one of the most important philosophies to uphold when trying to show someone you’re worthy of their love. Anyone who’s been caught up in the intensity of new relationship will know very well how all those pesky hormones cloud your judgment. It’s thus all the more critical not to renege on your values to meet your man’s expectations.

At this stage, you really want to rely on your gut instincts. If something doesn’t quite feel right, don’t press ahead and try laying the foundations for a more serious set-up. Never compromise on your principles just to impress him, putting your morals on the table early establishes a clear impression of who you are as a person. It also shows him that you’re capable of being honest. Sticking to your guns in this respect will also show any worthwhile chap that you’re also consistent, a quality that’s central to any relationship worth its salt. 

#2 - Be tenacious, not desperate

Once you’ve established the groundwork, it’s time to start focusing on the practical side of things. This is where we revisit the hormonal cocktail coursing through your veins, making your central nervous system generally melt into a blushing, stuttering mess. You can at least be forgiven for this very human response; renowned neuroscientist Helen Fisher told us last year that falling in love and cocaine both have a similar effect on your brain chemistry.

Dopamine cravings aside, try to stay on top of that insatiable urge to see your beau 24/7. There’s a very, very thin line between being tenacious and appearing desperate. And it’s obvious which one is the turn-off. Suggesting creative date ideas and being proactive win a man’s heart, sending a constant slew of emoji-laden texts gives off an air of neediness and will make him run a country mile. Again, following your feelings here is advisable; just don’t get too carried away and blow your chances early doors. If you feel your efforts are in vain don’t be afraid to walk away.

There’s also a case to be made for playing hard to get, an argument that’s backed by reams of scientific research. Whilst we do agree that there are benefits to keeping your man wanting more, it’s a technique that can quickly backfire if overdone. You don’t want your stud to think you’re aloof or that you’re ghosting him. By all means play it cool, but this doesn’t mean you have to be an ice queen/king.

#3 - Be confident

Successfully mastering how to make a guy to fall in love with you hinges on how confident you are. Confidence here isn’t just how good your chat is and how many awkward silences you manage to swerve. It runs much deeper. In fact, it helps if you break it down into two categories; outward and inner confidence. And both are relevant when it comes to sequestering the apple of your eye. Let’s take a closer peek at these two concepts.

Outer confidence is how you present yourself to other people. Concerning romance, it’s all about your body language and the way you communicate your thoughts verbally. Though it’s a process that takes a while to master, building up your inner confidence goes hand-in-hand with attracting the right partner. Work on learning to love yourself and celebrate your qualities. The most important function this serves is making you feel good about yourself. It’ll also show your man that you’re secure and happy in your own skin, two highly loveable attributes!

handsome suited man looking pensive

#4 - Be a good listener                                     

Here’s a step that looks simple to follow but actually involves a fair bit of effort. Being a good listener doesn’t mean hanging onto his every word. Nor does it mean you have to dumb down or censor what you want to say. It’s a twofold process of both listening to your man and paying attention to yourself too. In some respects this step can be split into the two categories, in much the same way we spoke about inner and outer confidence.

Let’s start with listening to him. This may sound glaringly obvious, but it can be easily overlooked. In the midst of a fresh romance, you might have the urge to talk about your emotions to the finest detail. Whilst this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, allow him space to communicate his feelings too. You’ll be able to understand him better this way, and show you’re interested in him by offering considered responses.

Listening to what you’re feeling is a critical practice when creating a loving bond with someone. It helps you establish a level playing ground that’s founded on openness. It’s highly attractive when a person show’s they’re in-tune with their moods, and can bring that harmony to the relationship.

#5 – Be loveable

This final step may sound a bit daft, especially in an article that’s about how to make a guy fall in love with you. But if you’ve followed the four subsequent stages, you’ll no doubt have achieved lovability. In some respects, being loveable demands a certain degree of mindfulness. There are plenty of misconceptions surrounding what men really want from a partner. This makes reaching this level of contentment harder as we’d sooner protect our emotions than jeopardize them.

Bearing that in mind, becoming loveable is about letting your guard down. Dropping the drawbridge to your heart and letting your knight in shining armor cross the threshold involves risk. You need to have balls to do this (irony intended). Anyone who’s taken the plunge, trusted themselves and revelled in the love of a wonderful man will tell you how much of a joy it can be!

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