5 Clear Signs You’re Dating a Workaholic

young workaholic trying to find time for dating

Are you dating a workaholic? Sometimes it’s tricky to spot the difference between someone who is committed to their work and a person whose job dictates their life. But it’s key to making your relationship succeed — and not just fit into their calendar. 

Dating a workaholic can be frustrating. Plans probably get canceled or rescheduled. Maybe you feel like you hardly ever see them. And when you do, you might worry that they’re not fully there with you. We get it.

Sure, achieving the right work-life balance is tricky. But for a relationship to thrive, both people need to be putting in the time and effort to nourish it. 

Here’s our advice on how to know if your crush is dating their job more than they’re dating you. And what you can do about it!

Are you Dating a Workaholic? 

They always prioritize their work over you

Is your partner always late coming home? Or canceling your dinner plans last minute? Maybe you constantly hear excuses like;

“The meeting ran late.”

“We had so much to get done before the project deadline tomorrow.”

“I just couldn’t get away sooner.”

If you feel your partner is always making excuses instead of making an effort, you should speak out.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have standards. Having standards is a good thing

Many of us have demanding jobs, but prioritizing work above everything else in our lives is a choice. And if your partner is choosing to do this, then there’s a pretty good chance that you’re dating a workaholic. 

They struggle to switch their phone off

Emails, texts, and phones are great. But they’ve also made it incredibly easy for people to take their work home with them. 

It can kind of make it feel like you’re never not working. And the more you check your emails and messages, the more addicted you become to doing it. 

The thing about a workaholic is they get a buzz from being on all the time. They love knowing everything that’s happening 24/7.

Sure, sometimes there might be something important going on that does require your attention outside of office hours. But most of the time, it’s unnecessary. So don’t be afraid to ask them to switch their phone off. Just be careful of how you phrase it.

Improve your communication practices by approaching the topic calmly so they don’t feel attacked. And try not to get defensive. Just be honest about how you feel!

They spend more time at the office than at home

Do you feel like your partner’s boss or colleagues see them more than you do?

The way our working week is designed means most of us spend a lot of time at the office. But there’s a point when it can become ridiculous. And if your partner is at that point, then maybe they’re a workaholic.  

The thing is, if you’re barely connecting with your partner, then what’s the point of being in a relationship? 

Work is important. It pays the bills, and it can give us a sense of purpose. Sometimes it’s a way for us to live our dreams. But the truth is, there’s more to life than work. 

If you’re dating a workaholic, your plans always get rescheduled

Do your dates and holidays always get canceled or rescheduled, because of the dreaded W-word?

And are you always left wondering why your romantic plans can be pushed back, but their work ones can’t be?

Being driven is great, and often necessary if you want to meet your goals. But your plans together are important too. So don’t feel silly about having healthy expectations in a relationship.

Instead, schedule dates into your calendar like any other commitments. Discuss these plans well in advance so you can both find a time that works. 

Sure, having date nights may sound like cliche advice. But planning a romantic dinner or weekend away can be a real game-changer. Trust us. 

They’re a total perfectionist

Being a workaholic often goes hand in hand with being a perfectionist. 

Perfectionists just can’t stop until they’ve done the best they possibly can. And even then, they’re never really happy because they always believe they could have done better. There’s no end to that mentality, which means they’re never fully satisfied. 

This can sometimes stem from childhood or an emotional need to prove themselves. So while it’s a good idea to speak about the root of their perfectionist ways, it’s important to be delicate about it too.

If you’re pretty sure that you’re dating a workaholic, then you should speak to them about it. Communication is fundamental in every relationship

By bringing it up with them in a calm and non-confrontational setting, you’re informing them that you’d like something to change. 

Maybe you’ll realize that they’re unaware of the stress they’ve caused you? Or that you both have different relationship expectations? 

The only way to find out is by connecting with them honestly. That way you can move forward with the path that’s best for you.

About the author: Shani Jay

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