How Getting Over a Breakup Changes Your Life Forever — In The Best Way
Getting over a breakup causes even the most calm and rational of us to experience total and utter inner turmoil and chaos, especially if it’s something we didn’t see coming. But when you learn how to get over a breakup or a divorce, it can prove to be the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you — once you begin to address four key aspects of yourself.
The truth is, getting over a breakup is a journey that requires time and love — from yourself, as well as from your friends and family. But this journey is going to take you from the depths of despair, where you think you are now, to the best and strongest version of yourself. Plus, you will have gained the power of clarity and wisdom for your next successful long-term relationship.
Here are the four spheres you need to address and heal so you can be ready for true love to come into your life.
Getting over a breakup by getting physical
Losing love can be similar to experiencing withdrawal symptoms from an addiction. So, relax, you’re not crazy: there’s a real bio-chemical reason behind your despair1. If you treat your heart’s loss as a true physical injury, you’ll understand that you need a combination of rest and therapeutic exercise to recover. Take it slow, but keep your progress steady.
Remember, romantic breakups cause actual sensitivity to physical pain2. Avoid any temptations to over-medicate yourself or drown out your sorrow by using drugs and alcohol. This not only detracts from your ability to heal, it actually burrows you further into a depression, as substances such as alcohol have a depressive effect on the brain.
Instead, turn your experience inward. Take five minutes out of your day to begin to meditate. Focus on your breath and be aware of your breathing. Let thoughts of your ex float in and don't get attached to them. Simply observe that they are occurring and let yourself feel what you’re feeling. If you have to stop halfway to express your emotions — either to a friend, by journaling about it or even by crying — take the time to do so. This is all part and parcel of letting go.
Give yourself the permission to eat and sleep regularly. The amount of sleep you get or the quantity of food you eat is not the question here, it’s all about consistency. Make sure you’re consistent with your eating and sleeping habits.
And, finally, nothing beats away the blues like some good ol’ fashioned exercise. You don’t need a gym membership right away — although if you feel so inclined, go for it! Just make a promise to yourself to get out and and do something active for 15 to 30 minutes a day. If you are joining a gym, get yourself involved in group fitness classes which are both social and fun as well as good for you. Bonus: when you’re ready, you’ll have the added benefit of being able to post some amazing photos of your great new body on a dating platform like EliteSingles.
How to handle the emotional
The physical aspect of how to get over a breakup has a lot to do with the emotional. The mind and body connection are not severed simply because you’re in grief. In fact, your mind and body are more connected than ever before and this is why it’s so important to address the physical. These physical care routines you establish will help to soothe your emotional well-being and confront the despair you may be feeling in a healthy manner.
It’s absolutely okay to grieve. Allow yourself, first and foremost, to feel what you’re feeling. This doesn't mean you need to call your ex five times a day and yell at them or send them nasty texts, but you should feel okay in expressing your anger or sadness whichever way you see fit. Start a journal and write out what you're feeling, let the tears flow or make angry voice recordings. These bottled up emotions are literally toxic for your mind-body connection, so release them and you’ll be one step closer to letting go.
Don't forget to incorporate lots of humor into your life too. Laughing with friends and family that love and uplift you or stacking up the comedies on your Netflix account are the best ways to stay present and light within yourself. Humor is a powerful healing agent and a wonderful way to remember that life is light and easy3.