It’s a common assumption that all relationships go through similar phases, but are the stages of dating really the same for everyone?
If you’ve just clicked an article called ‘how to compliment a girl’, and are feeling apprehensive about flirting, there is something you should know right off the bat: many guys, no, most guys, pretty much all guys have no clue whatsoever. If you can muster even a quantum of decorum and sincerity when offering compliments to the opposite sex, you’re already miles ahead of the winkers and the wolf-whistlers, the fedora-doffers and all the other would-be Casanovas who have read ‘The Game’ fifty times and earnestly use the term ‘wolf pack’.
No; if you want to know how to compliment a girl, the key thing to bear in mind is why you want to compliment them. This is the golden rule; write it on a stone slab and mount it on your desk if you like: You are complimenting them because a certain aspect of their appearance or personality is wonderful, and you want them to know this and feel happy because of it. That’s not so hard, right? Good. But how do you express this sentiment without panicking, swallowing your own tongue and turning a violent shade of puce?
How to Compliment a Girl
Behold; a step-by-step guide to being pleasant to girls you like without coming across like a leering maniac.
Don’t follow any advice that you find on sites with names like ‘Dr Seducto’
Never trust a website that sounds like the antagonist in an X-rated Spiderman parody. More importantly, if you want to know how to be nice to the girl you like, a good starting point is probably to view her as a human being.
Pick your moment
This is fairly rudimentary stuff old sport. Don’t stop women shopping in the street, don’t hit on them at work, don’t sidle over to them when they’re snoozing with headphones in on the commute home. It’s not so hard to figure out. Just be nice!
You don’t have to be particularly original and you don’t have to say something she’s never heard before; in fact a flowery-worded ode to the sacred beauty of a girl’s irises is a good way to immediately red-flag yourself. Nobody gets tired of hearing that they look pretty when it is A) adherent to point 2 and B) sincere. Girls can tell the difference between a threadbare pickup line and a genuine statement of admiration.
Yes, bearing your feelings is scary. But look: you’re doing a nice thing; you’re making someone feel good about themselves. Try not to over think it and don’t force yourself to behave or speak in a way you wouldn’t normally, and you’ll appear far more natural and charming. You don’t want to trick someone into liking a false version of yourself, you want them to like you for you, so fakery and gimmicks are pointless. Just relax.
Don’t be creepy
Creepiness in compliments is subjective. If you’ve just met, don’t bat your eyelashes and comment on the curvature of their body. However, if things are heating up and you sense a reciprocal atmosphere of attraction, more physically-based compliments are fine. Perhaps a good general rule would be to never give a compliment on a date that you wouldn’t be comfortable with your mother overhearing.
Don’t overdo it
While your potential date may love to be showered with praise, if it’s not reciprocal there is a possibility that you are underselling yourself. If you are floating endless praisings in the direction of your date and are seeing a noticeable drop in their responses, ease off a little. There’s nothing particularly attractive about a frothing fountain of praise.
Don’t underestimate the weight of your words
We’re all human beings and, let’s just be honest with each other for a second, none of us have a clue what we’re doing and we are all literally, every single one of us, completely baffled most of the time. No no, don’t deny it. It’s a fact. We are all children wearing adult suits. Therefore, any genuine compliment, affection or praise we receive is instantly memorable. They may not show it, but a few kind words can make someone’s whole day.
Make sure you’re complimenting her
Perhaps this one sounds forehead-slappingly obvious, but compare these two compliments:
Exhibit A: “I like your shirt!”
Exhibit B: “You look amazing in that shirt!”
(Note: I am making the assumption that you are wearing a shirt.)
So – which would you rather receive as a compliment? If you said ‘B’, congratulations, you are on the right track to delivering genuine, flattering remarks. If you said ‘A’, get out. ‘A’ is forgettable, throwaway, insincere and easy. Plus, the subjects of the compliment are the dress and yourself; your date doesn’t even factor into the equation. Well done, you said one sentence and you’ve successfully created a love triangle between you, your date and her outerwear.
In case ‘B’ however, your date is the subject of your amorous advances, not yourself and not the bit of cloth she is adorned with; altogether a far lovelier sentiment.
Have a follow up ready
Anyone who has ever given a compliment will know that, aside perhaps from ‘thank you’, the most common response is ‘why?’. It’s only human nature to be curious, and if you throw someone a compliment, half the time they will ask you what you actually mean. Sure, that dress looks amazing on them, but… why? Is it the pattern, or the fit? Beware: if you’re caught out by this and end up verbally floundering, it could be taken as an indicator that you were merely reeling off those pre-crafted just-add-water compliments.
Compliments aren’t only verbal
Do you know what will mean more to a girl than comparing her to a summer’s day? Listening to her. No, not the sort of ‘listening’ that involves nodding rhythmically and quietly waiting for a moment to interject with your own hilarious anecdote. Actually listen to your date, ask questions, and take interest in her unique views and opinions. Every person in the world has something new to teach you – what can you learn from your date? Be curious, be fascinated, and make them feel like the most interesting person in the room. If you can manage that, you’re doing alright.
So there you have it, a few alternative pointers on how to compliment a girl. EliteSingles is the place to start if you’re looking to find your special someone, and when you get that first date lined up, remember the tips in this article. Get out there and throw kindness around like confetti!
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