How and when to say ‘I love you’ for the first time

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Falling in love is a magical experience that changes our entire outlook on the world around us. When it becomes clear that you might have finally found the one, it is normal for those three little words to buzz around in your mind until you simply can’t bear keeping them to yourself any longer. Yet, it is very important to go about saying ‘I love you’ for the first time with thoughtfulness and care.

At EliteSingles, we are here to help facilitate the feeling of falling in love for as many people as possible. Not to mention, a service like ours can take a lot of the pressure off of falling in love in the first place. When you are continually matched with other likeminded singles that are also looking for serious relationships, knowing when to say ‘I love you’ becomes that much easier. Let us quell any residual feelings of uncertainty with these simple rules of thumb for deciphering when to say ‘I love you’ to that special someone for the first time.

Knowing when to say ‘I love you’ really can be a simple matter of timing:

When it comes to succeeding at the game of love, it’s best take heed to timing. While measures of time within the context of your relationship are highly personal, many would agree that it’s a good idea to wait at least a few months before saying ‘I love you.’ This way, you’ve had a substantial amount of time to decipher whether or not the feelings you’re having are the result of lust and infatuation, or if they are the sentiments of something deeper. It’s also necessary to give your partner adequate time to do the same. Saying ‘I love you’ too soon can make your significant other feel pressured or rushed to decide prematurely on his or her own feelings. What’s more is that doing so could have the potential to make you appear overly impulsive or less stable emotionally.

With all this being said, don’t be afraid to follow your gut. Abiding by common social conventions or letting what others are doing dictate your actions can take away from your ability to communicate authentically. While being the first to say ‘I love you’ is enough to make just about anyone feel vulnerable, there is nothing shameful about telling another person how you feel.

How about when to say ‘I love you’ back to your partner?

If you’re more concerned about waiting too long, it’s better not to say ‘I love you’ simply because a certain amount of time has passed and you are still together. Instead, wait until you’re genuinely ready. Establish a foundation of trust as you build emotional intimacy with your new partner by being as honest as you can in your words and actions. In a healthy relationship, your partner will not make you feel pressured to say things you don’t yet mean.

If you’re concerned that your partner hasn’t said ‘I love you’ back, remember that each person operates on his or her own emotional timeline, and it takes some people longer to arrive at the same conclusion about their feelings. While passions may be high, it’s always important to remain patient and accepting of each other by allowing each individual to move at their own pace.

Considering where to say ‘I love you’ can be just as important as knowing when to say ‘I love you’

In reality, knowing when to say ‘I love you,’ is usually a mix of timing as well as circumstance. It’s best to say ‘I love you’ in a place where the two of you feel comfortable, and there is sufficient privacy. For example, choosing to drop the line during a dinner date at their place is a better alternative to saying it for the first time while the two of your are out in public or spending time in a group setting.

Most experts would agree that the first time you drop these three powerful words should not be during sex. While both intercourse and the act of saying ‘I love you’ for the first time possess inherent levels of vulnerability, it’s not a good idea to consolidate these two acts. Thus, saying ‘I love you’ for the first time just before, during, or right after sex can be confusing for your partner because it is all too common for people to say things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. For the same reason, it is also a good idea to save that first ‘I love you’ for a time when you are not drinking.

When to say ‘I love you’ after the first time

Once you’ve broken the ice and both of you have begun saying this phrase to each other, there are some additional things to keep in mind. People of varying cultural backgrounds and personality types may feel differently about the frequency with which they’d like their partners to say ‘I love you.’

Even after the first time, it’s important not to expect your partner to say it back to you unless they genuinely mean it and feel comfortable saying it in that moment. Giving the one you love the space to express their feelings on their own terms is actually a great way to continuously foster a sense of confidence and mutual independence throughout the course of the relationship.


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