Charlotte Bridge, 05.19.2016

The top 10 first date deal breakers

For all those American singles who are sick of going on terrible dates; our survey investigated what the ultimate first date deal breakers are and some of the results might surprise you! While we all know talking about your ex, being rude and sitting on your phone the whole time are dating no-nos, some seemingly innocent acts may be preventing you from getting a second date!

A new EliteSingles study of 1300 Americans looked into the ins and outs of first date deal breakers and discovered the top 10 first date faux-pas – take note!

The top 5 first date deal breakers

1) Number 1 Behavior Deal Breaker: Getting very drunk

There is a difference between having a small glass of wine for some Dutch courage before a first date and getting stupidly drunk over dinner. 1 in 2 Americans consider it a deal breaker so keep it together people; getting wrecked on a date is a big no-no.

2) Number 1 Outfit Deal Breaker: T-shirt with offensive/childish slogan

Almost 70% of Americans agreed that offensive or childish slogans on T-shirts are a massive first date faux-par. You might find your t-shirt hilarious but leave it at home on a date; they are unlikely to be impressed and it will probably be at the cost of a second date.

3) Number 1 Conversation Deal Breaker: Mentioning upcoming dates

One would think this is pretty obvious but a large amount of people experience their date speaking about upcoming dates they’ve set up. Naturally hearing about your other dates is hugely off-putting for the person who is currently on a date with you so don’t mention them! You never know, if your date goes well you may not have to go on the other ones.

4) Number 1 Post date Deal Breaker:  Bombarding with texts

Of course it’s nice to feel a date went well and sending one text telling the person you enjoyed meeting them is fine, but bombarding them with messages is just silly. In fact 44% of Americans said it was a deal breaker for them so be careful; you don’t want to spoil a good date by being too keen post date.

5) Dating Deal breaker: Checking your phone constantly

It’s not rocket science. Obviously if you’re sat on your phone throughout an entire date, you are not engaging with the person you are with and can come across as disinterested. In fact, men in particular disliked this and 60% consider it a deal breaker. Put the phone away and enjoy the moment; everything else can wait.

5 surprising first date faux-pas

1) Wearing a suit and tie

Americans like nice-but-casual dates – so much so that wearing a suit and tie is deemed as much of a first date fashion faux-pas as turning up in active wear. In fact 83% of Americans would prefer to go for a casual coffee on a first date (no suit and tie necessary!).

2) Taking pictures of your meal

Bad news for fans of the Hefe filter: taking photos of your food is definitely off-putting. In fact it’s considered even worse than common dating deal-breakers like not offering to split the bill! Eat the food, don’t photograph it.

3) Getting out your selfie stick during dinner

It might be wise to forget your camera altogether, as mid-date selfies are also frowned upon. Indeed, hated by men in particular (12% consider this a deal breaker), selfies are an even bigger first date sin than not tipping.

4) Listening carefully to your dates stories

68% of Americans would rather their date spoke too much on first meeting. So those who think you need to be a good listener on a date can take a sigh of relief – chat away!

5) Adding your date on Facebook

You should wait before sending that friend request: 1 in 5 American singles would be put off of a second date with someone who immediately added them on social media, men more so than women.

The dating no-nos that are not as bad as you think

Being a bad kisser!

A tiny 3% of American singles consider being a bad kisser a deal-breaker, making it a far more minor offence than any of the deal-breakers above!

Not tipping!

Americans are usually pretty adamant about tipping (and there are plenty of studies suggesting that people would dump their date for not doing it) but surprisingly our survey revealed that a tiny 5% of respondents consider it a deal breaker making it one of the lowest on the list!

How much of a big deal are deal breakers?

Do deal-breakers matter? Considering that 74% of Americans surveyed would be prepared to end a date early over a deal-breaker (and that 32% have already done so), the answer is most likely yes.  

The most common way to escape a bad date? For most it’s fairly straight-forward. Indeed, Americans don’t like the convoluted exit strategies so beloved of romantic movies and sitcoms; rather than a fake illness or phone call, 73% of singles would simply opt for the truth.

EliteSingles psychologist, Salama Marine, has these words of wisdom for anyone needing to leave a date early:

‘Rejection hurts. No matter how kindly or carefully it’s done; it will always hurt. Ending a date with someone prematurely, or pointing out their physical and social flaws, is damaging to their ego. What’s more, it can also harm their self esteem and result in feelings of insecurity and low confidence. In this study, the majority of people admitted that they would tell the truth about why they wanted to leave a date early, instead of making up an excuse. This is fair enough; you shouldn’t have to stay on an awkward date for hours with a stranger if you don’t want to. But it is important to choose your words carefully; you need to show your date that you do respect them and consider them an equal, despite not feeling romantically attracted to them. There’s no need to be unnecessarily hurtful or mean; you simply need to explain that you cannot picture yourself romantically with them and that you feel your personalities aren’t matched. If your date insists on more information; feel free to continue explaining your reasoning in a nice way; this could even be productive and help them improve their dating skills in future.’

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