Is he the one? It’s a common question that aspirational daters often ask themselves after they’ve started connecting with someone new. However, regardless of whether you’ve been dating for weeks, months, or even years, figuring this out isn’t always straightforward.
It’s a situation we can all relate to: You’re in a new relationship and things are going really well. He’s saying and doing all the right things. You’re totally smitten. But one question keeps going round and round in your head: “How do I know if he’s the one?”
If you’re trying to figure out if he’s Mr. Right as opposed to Mr. Right Now, EliteSingles is here to help! We’re here to tackle the age-old question, “Is he the one?” and help you to find a lasting, meaningful relationship.
How to Know if He’s the One: 15 Signs That It Might Be Time to Commit
Firstly, it’s important to note that every individual and couple is different. What’s relevant and works for you might not work for others. But, some general signs that will help you work out if you’re dating Mr. Right. Below, we’ve put together a list of 15 of the most common signs he’s the one.
1. He’s Kind and Genuine
Don’t underestimate the importance of kindness in a relationship. It’s vital if a relationship is going to last. That’s because, when couples are good to each other, it helps both partners feel loved, valued, and respected.
Some people will put on a pretense in the early stages of a relationship which can trick you into thinking they’re kind. But you can usually tell someone’s true character by the way they treat other people — particularly people who can’t do anything for them.
2. You’re Completely Comfortable With Him
Can you truly be yourself around him without feeling afraid or ashamed? Are you okay with him seeing you first thing in the morning or lounging around in sweatpants? Are you able to share all your quirks, flaws, and weirdness with him, without feeling judged?
If you feel comfortable with him, that’s one of the most important signs he’s the one.
3. You’re Attracted to Him
Is he the one? Well, it might not be everything, but feeling physically attracted to him is still an important sign that he might be.
Physical attraction isn’t everything though and determining whether the guy you’re dating is right for you can also come down to emotional attraction. Are you attracted to their personality, traits, and characteristics, as well as their physical appearance? If so, he’s probably a keeper!
4. Your Values Align
Do you both want the same things in life? Are you aligned when it comes to lifestyle, spirituality, marriage, and kids? You don’t need to — and won’t — agree on everything. But if you agree on the big things in life and you regularly talk about your values and the future, it can be a good sign that he’s the one.
5. You’re Best Friends
Here’s how to know if he’s the one: are you best friends? Do you love spending time together? Does your relationship feel like one great adventure? Is life even better when they’re around? Is he the person you want standing next to you when all your dreams come true?
You’re dating your best friend AND you’re attracted to him! What could be better than that?
6. The Small Things Mean a Lot
In the early days of a new relationship, romantic gestures are common. Whether it’s a bunch of flowers, a surprise gift, or a weekend getaway, these surprises are part of what makes new relationships so exciting.
As a relationship settle down though, the routine of everyday life starts to become the norm. So, how do you know if he’s the one at this point? Well, a guy who’s worth holding onto won’t take the routine of everyday life with you for granted. They’ll make the time and effort to show their love for you through small but meaningful gestures. These moments build intimacy, respect, and trust, which are the foundations for any meaningful, lasting relationship.
7. He Makes You Feel Safe
When trying to answer the question, “Is he the one?” consider how he makes you feel. A good partner always makes their other half feel safe, both physically and emotionally. So, if he’s making the effort to protect — not necessarily physically but also during a negative situation — then it’s one of the best signs he’s the one.
8. He Demonstrates Trust
Excessive jealousy is one of the surefire signs of a toxic relationship. A guy who truly is the one shouldn’t be displaying any signs of petty jealousy or doing something like keeping you from seeing your friends.
What’s more, he should recognize and respect your independence and allow you to make your own decisions. This is a basic requirement and one of the most important signs when it comes to figuring out if he’s the one.
9. You Each Have Your Own Lives
Similarly, not only should he not display any petty jealousy, but he should also be accepting, and happy, with the fact that you each have your own lives. If he’s encouraging you to spend time with others, whether it’s family or friends, and he’s happy to do the same, then this is a good sign he might be the one.
10. He Cares What You Think
Wondering how to know he’s the one? Think about his attitude towards your opinion. Does he ask for your view and demonstrate that he cares about what you think? The topic isn’t important, whether it’s an outfit choice or a political viewpoint. What’s important is that he values your opinion and remembers how you feel.
11. He’s Honest With You
Sometimes, a guy might say what they think we want to hear in the hopes it’ll convince us to sleep with him. It won’t be long after that his true feelings and motives are revealed. But the right guy will always be honest and authentic with you.
This shouldn’t be to the point where he’ll deliberately hurt your feelings by saying something harsh, but he won’t lie. Similarly, he won’t break your trust by sharing your secrets with others, and he won’t string you along if he doesn’t see a future between you. If there’s a strong level of trust and honesty between you, this is a good sign for the future.
12. You Have Healthy Conflicts
It’s perfectly normal to disagree and have conflicts in any long-term relationship. However, what’s important is the way you navigate those conflicts when they arise.
Are you both able to communicate clearly with love and respect, even when you’re angry or upset? Do you handle disagreements with a level of maturity, without one of you screaming or the other storming off? And when there is an issue, do you both work together to resolve it? Are you both receptive to feedback and willing to make compromises to improve your relationship?
If the answer to these questions is yes then the answer question to your question, “Is he the one?” might just be yes as well! This is what healthy conflict looks like, and it’s a valuable trait for any meaningful, lasting relationship.
13. He’s Willing to Apologize
Similarly, a guy who’s not afraid to say sorry is often someone ready for a long-term commitment. Being open to apologizing after getting something wrong shows he’s self-reflective and willing to take responsibility in the relationship.
14. You Have a Good Relationship With His Friends and Family
When it comes to knowing how to tell if he’s the one, consider how well you get on with his friends and family. Having a good relationship with his friends and family is a common relationship goal and it’s going to make things a lot easier later down the line.
That isn’t to say that a tricky relationship with his friends or family means he isn’t the one though. But it’s worth considering when trying to work if he’s the guy for you.
15. He Knows You’re the One Too
Although there’s no exact formula to knowing if he’s the one or not, the truth is when things are right, you’ll both feel it.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if you can ride the waves together while continuing to grow individually and as a couple, you’ve got something special that has infinite potential.
Is He the One? Trust Your Instincts!
Ultimately, a big part of answering the question, “Is he the one?” comes down to your feelings and instincts. But, if the guy you’re dating is displaying all the above signs, and you think you’ve found the one, appreciate him. Love him. Tell him how much he means to you. And if you’re worried that he’s not on the same page, don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation with him, so you know where you stand.