Once you’ve begun dating someone you’re interested in and things have become a bit more serious, it’s tough to avoid the inevitability of a” honeymoon phase.” These are usually periods when two new lovers are just getting to know each other and are seemingly infatuated by everything each other does. This is certainly par for the course when a relationship is off to a good start, but when you’re balancing a professional career and image, what amount of public affection is too much?
These days, there are many ways in which your love life can feel like it’s on full display, from social media to your local hang-out spots, and even among your inner social and professional circles. Sure, you want to show how things are going between you and a significant other, but is there ever an appropriate time to be intimate in front of people who may interpret your behavior as childish or immature? Below, we’ll discuss the interpretations of public displays of affection and how they may reflect on your character and affect your reputation.
The Evolution of Public Displays of Affection in Modern Society
Depending on your age, it probably doesn’t seem like that long ago that people were much more conservative when it came to their relationships. In many ways, people didn’t really consider public display of affection (PDA) as a suitable action in the public sphere. Your partner would seldom make an appearance at your place of work, and when they would, you probably wouldn’t engage in more than a kiss as a greeting.
But as Hollywood depictions of romance slowly began to present more risque and overt attraction on-screen, society, in general, was all aboard the love train in the 1960s. Freedom of expression and personality were at an all-time high, and people realized they weren’t ashamed to be themselves in public, especially when taking in the joys of life with someone they were crazy about.
Society eventually grew accustomed to people being more outright with their emotions, but it quickly became clear that there was an unspoken limit that was acceptable not only in front of close family or friends but also in regard to the workspace. Because of the way that too much PDA can make those around you uncomfortable, it’s understandable that you shouldn’t be canoodling with someone while in the presence of your peers, or even while in contained spaces with strangers who may be subjected to your actions.
Exploring Cultural Variations in Acceptable PDA Levels
It’s fairly easy to see that cultures have varying opinions on what is or isn’t appropriate during the dating process, as many customs and traditions often call for a conservative approach to courting someone. However, it’s also true that many people have accepted a relaxed opinion on how their children’s dating lives look in the modern times.
But even if you’re feeling more adventurous on your own accord, you always need to take an individual’s beliefs and values into consideration before making any sudden moves. Not only out of respect, but also in the case that they may not feel enthusiastic about the action, or could find it to be shameful.
This is especially true when dealing with the family of your partner, because you never want to be out of touch with their expectations if you’re hoping to have a long and cordial relationship with them, as well. Every parent has a certain standard for their son or daughter, and you not only want to be aware and considerate of their outlook, but also reserve any suggestive behavior for a more private and appropriate time at the other person’s discretion.
Setting Boundaries: Finding the Balance between Intimacy and Public Comfort
It may also not just be cultural factors that you will need to keep in mind, because not everyone is going to be so extroverted when it comes to showing affection. If your partner is initially hesitant to share the first kiss, you will want to discuss PDA meaning in your relationship. This way, you can establish boundaries early on, and begin to understand what levels of tolerance you each have in consideration to which time and place is right.
Meaning of PDA couple to couple is expected to vary widely, so having open communication and being understanding of each individual’s concerns or reservations is not only a sign you’re willing to respect their wishes but also shows that you’re responsive and open to changing your own personal expectations. Compromise is certainly essential in the progression of any relationship, so coming to a conclusion about when and where you feel most comfortable being intimate will help you determine how you navigate various social settings.
The Impact of PDA on Public Spaces: Examining Social Norms and Etiquette
We’ve all seen it before — you’re trying to enjoy a nice picnic in the park or a live concert, and you wonder, “Why is this PDA couple doing that in front of everyone without care?” It’s often seen as quite rude to be caressing or getting too intimate with someone in public, especially if you’re oblivious or ignorant of the people around you. Overtly sensual actions usually make others uneasy, so ensuring you don’t engage in this behavior out of the respect of others shows social awareness.
However, that doesn’t mean you and a significant other can’t share a passionate moment while out on a romantic date. Most times, you can get away from crowds and the fray by walking away to a more isolated and private area, whether it be outside while in transition to your next location or in the car after a successful date. You can occasionally find more private bars and clubs that may have more private settings and darker lighting, which could be more inviting to couples who are looking to share a more intimate moment in solitude.
PDA Dos and Don’ts: A Guide to Navigating Public Displays of Affection
If you’re in the beginning stages of dating or just wondering what is PDA couple etiquette in general, here are some basic do’s and don’ts when sharing a moment of affection in public.
PDA Dos
These approaches to PDA work in most public settings:
- Communicate Intentions – You always want to make sure that the other person is aware of your desire to be affectionate, and don’t ever want to surprise them in the spur of the moment while also in front of other people, whether peers or strangers.
- Be Respectful – Consider the expectations and cultural implications of the other person before assuming they will be on the same page as you regarding PDA. Being open-minded and respectful of their requests is imperative to a successful relationship.
- Consider Surroundings – You don’t ever want to be the subject of attention, either on purpose or unwillingly, so understanding where you are and when the right time is to share a moment of intimacy helps a couple remain professional no matter the setting.
- Understand Limits – If you’re comfortable partaking in a compassionate kiss, it’s crucial not to drag on the gesture and be cautious of the natural reaction your partner gives so you both feel that the exchange is equally reciprocal.
- Show Expression – Don’t be a robot when you do share moments of close embrace, and be aware of your expressions and demeanor so that you don’t come off as overly bland or gushy in a way that makes the other person feel as though it was disingenuous.
PDA Don’ts
You should refrain from these actions when regarding PDA:
- Assume Permission – Going in for a kiss unannounced or being too insistent on receiving PDA will make things uncomfortable pretty quickly, so it’s important to get on the same page about each other’s feelings and expectations regarding this topic.
- Be Overbearing – If you find yourself in a situation where you decide to share a moment of intimacy with your partner, don’t take over the embrace and make it become more of a spectacle rather than a romantic gesture. Chances are, they won’t appreciate it.
- Ignore Surroundings – Reading the room is very important if you’re ever hoping to share a close embrace because almost all public places do not call for this type of behavior. Whether you’re casually shopping, in a park, or on public transport, you don’t want to embody the meaning of “PDA couple.”
- Make Things Awkward – You need to be conscious of who and what is around you before diving into a passionate kiss because work colleagues, family, and even your friends don’t want to see that, let alone random strangers who are nearby in an establishment.
- Get Too Handsy – One of the only ways to make things worse than sharing too passionate of a kiss in front of the wrong or too many people is by adding an egregious amount of touching to the mix, which just makes the whole thing feel a bit more weird.
How Age and Generation Influence Perceptions of Acceptable PDA
Earlier, we briefly touched on how PDA’s meaning has evolved over time and the way it’s perceived differently from generation to generation. But it’s also important to understand how that perspective looks in practice today. You can easily see why younger couples are much more likely to engage in PDA without realizing the effect their actions are having on their surroundings, simply because naive tendencies and the rush of young love usually captivate.
However, the concept of respecting your elders still exists, and you probably wouldn’t engage in this sort of behavior at a family gathering or business luncheon, so why would you do so in a restaurant or movie theater? Even though it’s more widely accepted to be a PDA couple now more than ever, maintaining a professional demeanor and displaying your love in an alternative way in public in comparison to how you’re able to act on a solo date shows maturity and class.
It may be true that elderly folks will criticize any younger generation for their risque behavior, but there is a fine line between being outgoing about your passionate relationship and being unable to recognize the situation around you. Typically, it’s also true that the older and more experienced you become in your relationship(s), the more likely you are to take a sophisticated approach.
Balancing Intimacy and Respect: Understanding PDA in Professional Settings
People often take their professional lives very seriously because it can be tough to build an image and reputation that garners respect from your colleagues. The last thing you’d ever want to do is compromise that by drawing attention to your love life outside of work. Unfortunately, people’s dating lives tend to be a hot topic in the office, and when gossip spreads about any sort of interesting tidbit, others could be likely to run with it and, even worse, potentially spread slander.
You want to aim to keep your private and professional lives separate to the best of your ability, but in the case of dinner with co-workers, annual parties, or other business-related events, refraining from overt demonstrations of PDA is certainly in your best interest. Not only would it be rude and somewhat strange to expose your peers to that, but it also will keep your reputation intact, allowing others to know you take your relationship as seriously as your job.
PDA and Social Media: Sharing Love in the Digital Spotlight
Social media is now an inextricable part of our lives, and many people often feel the need to share their personal lives with their friends and family through the variety of different mediums out there. However, you also need to be conscious of the public aspect of your profiles, especially if you’re actively choosing not to make them private. If you’re posting images that may show the intimate interactions between you and a partner, professional colleagues or even family members may see them, depending on who’s able to discover your page.
It’s not that you’re encouraged not to share your love life online, but you need to be aware of who could be seeing it, which is usually as easy as monitoring who your followers are. Even when you post pictures of who you’re dating, be sure not to display any actions of PDA that may be in poor taste for any family members who may see it. For your co-workers, an example could be that you don’t want to post multiple partners within a short span to make it seem like your priorities aren’t straight.
PDA is certainly a touchy subject, and no two couples are going to figure out their approach to intimacy on a public level until they’ve grown accustomed to one another and learned to respect each other’s boundaries and personal considerations. Having an affectionate relationship can lead to great bonding opportunities, but reserving that passion for the right moment will make it all that much more special, rather than causing a scene or making it awkward for any of your close circles of colleagues, friends, or family.
