Online Dating Chat: 6 Ways to Keep It Fresh

happy woman perfecting her online dating chat

Messaging matches is one of the most important parts of online dating. It’s your chance to make a memorable impression. But becoming a master of online dating chat takes practice. 

Whether you’re tired of racking your brain for interesting icebreakers or struggling to transition your online connection into an in-person date, we’re here to help you become a pro at online dating conversation. 

Here’s our expert advice on how to become a smooth talker online.

Our Guide to Online Dating Chat 

  1. Use a unique opening line

First impressions matter, particularly when it comes to online dating.

Using the wrong pick-up line or a cringy opening sentence can get the conversation off to a bad start. Instead, it’s better to use creative opening lines that catch your match’s attention.

Sure, sending all your matches the same thing may be efficient, but is it effective? We don’t think so. In reality, they’ll know if you’ve sent them a copy and paste message or one that’s specific to them.

Taking a little extra time to craft an original opener can make a real difference. It’ll only take you about 60 extra seconds, but it’ll show them that you’re truly interested.

  1. Ask real questions

A big online dating chat mistake is asking the wrong questions. It’s important to strike a balance between fun questions and ones that are too formal. Remember, you want to date this person, not hire them for a job.

Avoid asking questions like “How are you?” or What are you doing?” Why? Because nine times out of 10, the response will be something equally as boring, like “Fine”. 

This can make for a pretty boring dialogue. Even worse? It does nothing to advance the conversation. 

Instead, ask questions that lead somewhere, questions of substance. The more specific you make the question, the better. Even something like “What did you have for dinner?” or “Tell me about your favorite film as a kid” makes for a more stimulating chat. 

The next time you get writer’s block, try these questions to ask a girl or questions to ask a guy.

  1. Be present and engaged

Too many people join an online dating site and immediately take a backseat, only to wonder why they aren’t getting flooded with matches or dates. 

But achieving online dating success means you’re not expecting your matches to do all the heavy lifting. If you want to have engaging conversations that lead to dates IRL, you have to bring something to the table. 

So, be present! Share something about yourself that isn’t in your profile, enthusiastically respond to their questions and follow-up with more detailed ones. 

If you put in work, you’ll start seeing results.

  1. Limit the number of people you’re chatting with

When it comes to online dating chat, prioritize quality over quantity. 

Spreading yourself too thin is rarely an effective strategy when it comes to anything. This applies to online dating too. 

When you’re juggling dozens of conversations, it’s likely none of them will blossom. Why? Because they aren’t getting the one-on-one time they require to thrive. 

Focusing your attention on a small number of matches means you’ll manage your time wisely. It’ll also encourage you to give more thought to who you match with and what you say to them too. 

  1. Change the subject

It happens to everyone: You’re hitting it off with a match but then you run out of things to say and the conversation dies out. Our advice? Don’t let it.

Instead of letting one lull in your online dating chat define your connection, change the subject. Give it another shot!

If you were on a first date and chatting with them in person, you wouldn’t stop talking because there was a pause. 

Avoid overthinking things if the transition doesn’t feel smooth. Experiencing some awkward moments when you’re speaking with a crush is normal. 

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask them out

Do you ever feel nervous to ask a match out IRL? Scared that they’ll see your invitation as too forward? There’s no need to be!

Too many online conversations fizzle out without someone making a move. But what’s the use of that! If you’re having a nice conversation with a match and you’d like to see if you have real-life chemistry, tell them! Ask them out on a first date! What do you have to lose?

And if you’d like to date them but are concerned about social distancing, don’t worry. There are tons of virtual date ideas out there that don’t skimp on romance.

When you’re searching for love online, becoming great at messaging matches is a must. 

But the good news is, it’s easy. All it takes is a little practice and taking note of our online dating chat advice will seriously help. You got this!

Elizabeth Entenman

About the author: Elizabeth Entenman

Elizabeth is a freelance writer, editor, and advertising copywriter in Brooklyn. Right now, she's probably somewhere Instagramming her dogs.

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