Here's our advice on how to craft the perfect online dating first message.
These days, more people than ever are meeting online—which means they’re flirting online too. Gone are the days of catching somebody’s eye from across the bar. Or of thinking of the perfect things to say to a girl at a dinner party. Today, all the courting takes place over text.
Chatting online has its advantages. It gives you time to gather your thoughts and form clever and sensitive responses. The best part? Speaking with your crush online can give you a real confidence boost. And becoming a pro at online chatting just takes practice.
But what exactly should you actually say? Here’s our expert advice on things to say to a girl online.
Our Guide on Things to Say to a Girl Online
Do: Ask questions
Of all the things to say to a girl online, one of the best things you can do is ask a question. Sounds easy, right? A question is an online conversation starter that shows you’re interested, gives her a reason to respond, and organically keeps the conversation going. It also avoids awkward silences.
Whether you keep it simple and ask her about her job or get creative and ask a silly “would you rather?” question, it’s a surefire way to steer the conversation. If you’re feeling nervous, have some questions written down and use them as a guide. Before you know it, you’ll have been chatting for hours.
Don’t: Do all of the talking
Nobody likes a conversation hog. A great way to lose a girl’s attention is to talk non-stop without letting her get a word in. Sure, maybe you’re talking too much because you’re nervous or have those butterflies in your stomach. But how is she to know that?
To make sure you’re not monopolizing the conversation, take a quick scroll through your online dating messages. Are you both contributing to the conversation equally? If so, you’re on the right track. Congrats!
If not, pull back a bit. Give her an opportunity to speak up. Make a more conscious effort to listen and respond to the last thing she said fully, instead of introducing a new idea. Remember, it takes two to tango!
Do: Be flirty
Don’t be afraid to pay your crush a compliment, send a cute gif, or even get a little suggestive. When you’re mulling over things to say to a girl online, don’t overthink it. If it feels right, get flirty!
Sometimes, things get lost in translation over message. So, if you like a girl, flirting online is a great no-fool way to get across the message that you’re interested in her. It shows that you like to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.
But the most important rule for online flirting? Read the room. Sure, getting steamy and using pet names can be fun, but it is only ok to do if your partner is comfortable with your advances. So if you’re thinking of taking your messages to the next level, make sure she’s into it first.
Don’t: Be creepy
Another online dating red flag? Acting creepy. There’s no reason to be a creep online. At all. And yet, some women receive creepy messages every single day.
Although you’re probably up to date on online etiquette, let’s just run through the basic don’ts: Don’t use overly sexual or disrespectful language. And if you feel your advances aren’t being reciprocated, then refrain from pushing things any further.
Understandably, there is very little tolerance for unkind online behavior. While on your end, you may see your advances as funny or flattering, it’s likely that she sees them are threatening or mean.
It’s very easy for some conversational nuances to get lost in translation over text. So when in doubt, ask yourself: Would I feel comfortable with my sister/friend receiving this message? If the answer is no, then it could be time you rethink the things you say to a girl.
Do: Ask her out
If you’ve been chatting online for a bit and you like where things are going, ask her out! It might feel bold, but isn’t that why you downloaded a dating app in the first place?
Of course, there’s no pressure to ask her out right away. But if you feel excited that you two are hitting it off, why not suggest seeing if your chemistry exists IRL? First dates can be daunting, we get it. But if she likes you, then it will put a smile on her face to know you have a sweet spot for her too.
Thinking of things to say to a girl online can feel nerve-wracking. But we promise that once you gain confidence, speaking to your crush online can be fun!
After all, on the other side of the screen is another human, simply looking for and worrying about the same things as you are. So next time you’re searching your brain for the perfect thing to say to a girl online, take a look over this guide. You got this!