First Date Advice: The Do's and Don’ts
Of course going on a first date with someone you’ve met on a dating site can be nerve racking and feel a little unnatural, especially for those new to online dating. However, it doesn’t need to be! If you’ve met someone online who’s giving you butterflies and you’re planning that all important first meeting, here are some dos and don’ts that will banish the nerves and make room for the conversation to flow. We have compiled the list with the help of EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine, to make that first encounter run as smoothly as possible and unite like-minded American singles.
The transition from online messaging to an offline meeting is not as scary as it may seem, in fact it’s simply an opportunity to test your interpersonal chemistry. If you feel like you’ve clicked online, then most likely you’ll click in person too; but if not, you know that you gave it a chance and will have no regrets. Take a leap of faith in your online connection and allow the chance for something truly great to develop.
So who will you be spending that all important first date with? How does the matchmaking process work?
First date advice for your dating success
Do: Keep it Simple
Essentially, the first date with someone you’ve met online is all about discovering whether there is chemistry between you and therefore the location you pick needs to allow you the space to talk. Choosing a simple first date idea like a coffee or a walk in the park will keep the date feeling relaxed and casual and provide a more natural environment for the two of you to get to know each other.
Don’t: Change your personality for somebody else
Salama Marine explains, ‘Don’t change your personality for someone else. Sometimes when some people want to impress, they try to do everything in their power to look perfect, by saying yes to everything and never showing any disagreement. But maintaining your own personality is probably the most important thing to do during a first date. Don’t forget yourself and your opinions; this is actually the best way to seduce a new person.’ In order to find someone who you can potentially spend the rest of your life with, you need to be yourself. Let the person fall in love with the real you. Otherwise you have no chance of making it work in the future. Be comfortable with who you are and trust that the right person will recognize what you bring to a relationship.
This may sound straight forward but Salama stresses the importance of actually listening to your date. She maintains, ‘Nowadays people don’t know how to really listen to each other. Try to make the effort to understand what the words really mean. For example, if someone on a first date is telling you that he/she had bad experiences of trust in the past, it probably means they are seeing whether they can trust you.’ Forming a true connection with someone comes from really engaging in conversation – pick up on small details your date has mentioned and enquire further. This will enable you to become closer more quickly.
Afraid of awkward silences? Try our First Date Questions