Dating in your 30s as a Woman: 5 Realities

When you were younger, you might have thought about the future, maybe even a spouse. You might not have expected to still be single in your 30s, but these days, it’s more common than ever.

Today, your 30s are just the new and improved 20s. By now, you’ve probably cemented a career and found some stability. This is likely a clear contrast to the copius amounts of carefree fun you probably enjoyed throughout your 20s. Now that you’ve got the basics figured out, a partner might be a nice addition to this life you’ve created for yourself. However, dating in your 30s as a woman is different. And here’s why…

Dating in Your 30s as a Woman: Things to Consider

1. You’ll realize the topic of marriage and kids will come up quick

Dating in your 30s as a woman may mean that the baby topic is one you can’t afford to dance around. While men may not face the same time pressure, as a woman this is probably the peak time to think about starting a family, or whether you’d like to have babies at all. As each lifestyle has its own perks, this is something you should probably think about yourself before you start dating in your 30s as a woman.

The truth is that whether you decide you’d like kids or not, it’ll probably come up early on in dates. But if you’re worried about getting invested in someone only to realise a couple of dates in that they have different lifestyle aspirations to you, then fear not. EliteSingles’ advanced algorithm will only match you with like minded individuals who have the same lifestyles goals as you. That’s why we think online dating is a woman’s best friend. So say goodbye to awkward conversations about kids and hello to real connections.

2. You’re probably over your family interfering

If you’ve heard a comment like “I don’t know why you’re single, you’re such a catch!” you’re probably used to dating in your 30s as a woman.

Family can be a wonderful source of support. But sometimes, their comments can feel overbearing, or even embarrassing. But there’s no need! Up until now you’ve been moulding out a life for yourself, and that’s something to be proud of. So if you feel comfortable with your family, why not share with them that you’re excited about this new chapter of dating.

If your sister has been offering up baskets of potential blind dates, why not check them out, you never know. The bottom line is to not feel like people are taking pity on you because the reality is that they’re not. They just want you to meet someone who compliments your stellar personality! Most people are far too concerned with their own life to ever consider doing so! And if it’s becoming too much, simply let them know that you’ve got a handle on your situation.

3. Your confidence is better than ever

When you reach the age of 30, you’re fully aware of who you are and what you have to offer. Gone are the days where you’re waiting for some silly boy to call you or playing dramatic games. At this stage, you deserve to realise exactly who you are: an established woman who is looking to share her life with someone special. And if someone doesn’t make the cut? Simply show them the door, politely of course.

In your 30s, it’s likely you have more clarity about what’s right for you than you did in your 20s. Instead of choosing to people please a man who lets you down, feel empowered by who you are and what you like!

4. There may be some baggae along the way

While it’s good to be picky, what may have constituted a break up in your 20s may not be the same these days. For example, remember the guy you broke up with over his music taste? Or the one you rejected because of their snoring? Back in your 20s, you might have considered these to be defining characteristics of a suitor, but the truth is they’re not.

These days, you realize that everyone has their own baggage — even you. A lot of the people you meet may be divorced, or have kids. And that’s ok. It’s up to you to decide if that’s something you can handle.

5. It might be hard to let someone else in

If you’ve been single for a while, you’ve likely established a great routine that works for you. You have a mental inventory of what’s in your fridge, and don’t have to choose a side of the bed. While these things can be considered individual wins, it also means having a partner around may disrupt your flow. And that can take some getting used to!

Our advice? Only pursue matches who are good people, ones who treat you well and make you smile. That way, maybe having to make space for an extra toothbrush won’t seem intrusive. Instead, it’ll feel nice.

We get it. Sometimes dating in your 30s as a woman can feel daunting. But it’s also exciting! After years spent figuring out what makes you, well, you, you’re finally at a place in life where you’re in control. Deciding that you want to share the life you’ve created for yourself thus far should feel good, great even. And the person you invite to share it with you? Well they should be even better.

Karen Belz

About the author: Karen Belz

Karen Belz has written for sites like Bustle, PreviouslyTV, Heavy, and HelloGiggles. She's also the founder of Best Recap Ever, a site that's focused on television news and reviews. She's a fan of sketch comedy shows and most movies that involve Muppets, and has been addicted to Sugar Free Red Bull since 2005.

See more articles written by Karen Belz