Gay Relationship Advice: 3 Essential Points

Happy gay couple discussing their gay relationship

As we grow into our mature dating selves, we start creating a collage of ideal characteristics we yearn for in a gay relationship. The smartest and most eligible men I encountered in my professional matchmaking career exactly knew the masterpiece they’d made. They were also able to convey it to me clearly. Here’s what they all wanted in a gay relationship.

Expert Gay Relationship Advice: 3 Tips

There’s plenty of useful bits of gay relationship advice out there. However, these are my three major essentials to make sure you have the right tools to make your personal collage an honored work of art. 

Establish Physical Intimacy Value 

As a man searches for his optimal gay relationship, he knows the particular value he places on sex and intimacy. The worth you place on this value should also match your potential mates’ perception of it too. 

Being in the matchmaking industry for a while, this part of a gay relationship is something I would frequently hear in intake interviews. Generally speaking, men are visual and physical creatures. It follows that gay relationships are built on a physical connection. This means an open dialogue on how often you’re intimate and your preferred position is key to success. 

Through the myriad of gay dating apps, these preferences are usually black and white. In a long-lasting gay relationship, some men don’t want to budge on how they define that physical piece for themselves. 

I thoroughly believe that just because your sexual preferences don’t exactly align, this shouldn’t be a deal-breaker. It should be an opportunity to explore a different way of doing things. 

Another preferred quality I’ve heard over and over again is someone that’s willing to go with the flow. Sometimes, this will open your horizons so to speak, but I also understand how this isn’t a notion of negotiation for some people. 

In my younger years, I’ve been in situations where someone tried convincing me to fit their mold. This was a complete turn-off and felt dogmatic. I believe sex and intimacy should always be spontaneous and evolutionary. Your options are greater if you bend a little, trust me. 

Monogamy or Open Relationships? 

How do you define the gay relationship or partnership you’ve always desired? Do you feel you’re only meant to be with one person? Maybe you feel like your heart is expansive enough to explore a polyamorous or open relationship

Within the past decade especially, I’ve seen a trend concerning the sociological and anthropological instincts of human partnership. I’ve had many discussions on how to define gay relationships from a nature-nurture stance. 

I stand by the advice that you should always go for what you believe is the best way to experience love within this life. For me, my experience of solid relationship mentorship was shaped by my maternal grandparent’s marriage of over seventy years. Not a day passed by when I didn’t aspire to one day experiencing the endearing and selfless love they shared.

My narrative states that I couldn’t imagine sharing my partner with someone else. In my book I asked, “does monogamy come naturally to you, or does it sometimes feel like a sacrifice?” Ask yourself that question right now. If you don’t have an answer, you might in the polyamorous or “open” realm. I feel most monogamists will almost always consider anything other than monogamy a deal-breaker. 

Matching Your Goals 

Like business endeavors, successful ideas start with a solid plan that has been tested in a multitude of scenarios. Whether a straight or gay relationship, those that flourish have well-matched timelines set by both parties.

Big life events that need discussing include things like living location, children, and homeownership. For example, I don’t think I could ever date someone who really wanted children. My stance would honestly be a big disappointment to them. Some of these life events seem quite serious, but I’ve also seen more trivial things like sex position preference and economic status factor into these plans. 

When first dating someone serious about a gay relationship, maybe bring two or three things to the forefront during early dating conversations. Most eligible gay men want someone with a plan. 

How many times have you been on a date with someone that only lasted one night? You probably found them unattractive or were turned off by their lack of a plan. Whatever you do, don’t get caught up in dating someone who wants all the benefits of a relationship without a commitment to a plan.

There are many things I could cover that explain relationship compatibility. The three points I’ve covered here get to the core of a gay relationship. We must have a solid foundation before we can build upon it. 

One relationship is no better than the other, but I wholeheartedly believe that almost all of these things mentioned involve communication and honesty. Would you define yourself as someone that beats around the bush? Or are you someone who’s forthright, altruistic, and direct in how he defines and treasures a gay relationship? I’d suggest always being the latter!

About the author: Mason R. Glenn

Mason R. Glenn has had a long career in the matchmaking industry and has spent his time helping high-caliber clientele in Los Angeles select eligible matches. Currently, Mason is an acclaimed published author and is in the process of strengthening his career in content and brand strategy. His latest book, "Getting Ahead of the Gayme: Man First, Gay Second," can be purchased through Amazon, iBooks, or Google Play, and is available at select major book retailers in the U.S.

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