How to Get a Girlfriend as a Girl: 3 Pointers

lesbian couple taking selfie on the sofa after reading advice on how to get a girlfriend as a girl

Figuring out how to get a girlfriend as a girl can get complicated. When you’re out and about and see a pretty woman, it’s difficult to know if she’s gay and flirting, or if she’s just straight and friendly. If you misread that situation, you’ll walk away alone, with her sad that you didn’t pick up on her cues. So, how can you meet other relationship-minded lesbians? These tips will help you find her!

3 Points on How to Get a Girlfriend as a Girl

Dating apps are your best bet

As of 2019, dating apps are the way most U.S. couples meet. One major caveat is that it became the most popular way for straight couples to meet. For gay couples, this had been the case several years prior. Before the app boom, straight couples usually met through friends and family.

Gay couples had a harder time meeting this way for various reasons. For one thing, although the self-identifying LGBTQ population is growing, mainly thanks to younger generations, statistically, family and friends most likely don’t know that many LGBTQ individuals. 

If you relying on relatives and friends, there’s less chance you’ll end up meeting other lesbian singles. And although you may have a mutual friend or two in common, it’s pretty likely that, within this small pool, you won’t have that much in common with them beyond both identifying with the LGBTQ community. 

Another troubling reason is that there are still many places within the U.S. where being queer can be problematic. In these circumstances, asking family and friends for advice on how to get a girlfriend as a girl out of the question.

With all things considered, using dating apps has been a better choice for LGBT people looking for love. And, thankfully, using dating apps as a gay woman in 2020 is significantly different than it was in the 2000s. 

While Tinder is still the top dog of LGBT dating apps, there are many smaller apps that cater specifically to the LGBTQ community, and, even further, specifically for girls seeking girlfriends. A few good options include EliteSingles, Zoe, HER, and Fem.

Get involved with the LGBT community

While lesbian bars aren’t as common as they once were, they’re still out there. And even if there isn’t one very close to you, you can use certain forms of social media, like Facebook Groups, to find local events in the sapphic community.  Take this approach and you’ll raise your chances of meeting other lesbians and ladies in the LGBTQ community. 

You might feel scared, but don’t be scared to go to these events solo. While bringing a friend may feel comforting, you’re more likely to end up attached to your friend. And that will also make it look more like you and your friend are a couple, which could end up preventing you from making a match with someone else.

Most people in the LGBTQ dating community are happy to meet others like them. If you ask to hang out with the other gay woman in your office sometime, even if you’re not into her romantically, you could gain a friend who has some familiarity with being a lesbian. Plus, becoming friends with her may mean meeting more gay friends down the road, one of whom you might end up being interested in.

It pays to be bold

Sometimes, you just vibe with someone naturally at a restaurant or bar. You sit down next to her, offer to buy her a drink, and spend the next hour talking and laughing. But how can you know for certain she’s into you

If the thought of outright saying that you’re interested and getting shut down sounds scary, start by scoping things out first. Find a way to drop in a question subtly about something like a past relationship. Or find a way to drop in your own sexuality or past relationships and see how she responds.

After all that, though, she still may not pick up what you’re putting down. As scary as it may seem to be rejected, a lot of the time the best option is being honest. If she is also gay, she’ll appreciate you being so forthcoming about what you want. And if she’s not, you’ll know where you stand. 

Rejection is always difficult, but it’s also just a part of life. If you take these three points on board, figuring out how to get a girlfriend as a girl may not seem so enigmatic. In fact, it could just become your reality. Good luck!

Jacqueline Gaultieri

About the author: Jacqueline Gaultieri

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