What to Do When Online Dating Doesn’t Work: 4 Mistakes

Are you always unlucky when it comes to online dating? Or do you spend hours wondering what to do when online dating doesn’t work? Well, you’re in good company! 

Online dating doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It’s a skill and getting good at it takes practice. So instead of throwing in the towel on your online dating career because of a few frustrations, why not hear out our online dating hacks? 

Here are some simple tricks that will make a big difference to your online dating performance.

Our Advice on What to do When Online Dating Doesn’t Work

Think before you type

When it comes to online dating, what you say in your messages matters. It’s the first impression your matches have of you and first impressions are important. Our advice? Keep your texts simple, unique, and appropriate. 

Sending overcomplicated messages to your matches won’t do you any favors. Create snappy texts, ones that catch their attention and make them want to reply and stick to under 40 words per message.

This is particularly true when it comes to opening lines for online datingWriting long introductions to matches may seem ok to you, but the longer your message is, the less likely your match is to read it. 

Avoid copying and pasting the same message to every match. Despite what you may think, it’s noticeable and not appreciated. The more specific a message is, the better. Tailoring your text to your crush’s profile makes a real difference. 

Why not ask your match questions or add a dash of humor to your conversation to spice things up. Studies show that funny singles are in high demand!

Speaking up spicing things up, avoid sending sexual texts from the get-go. It’s is a major online dating red flag. Why? Because you don’t know if they’ll like it! 

What you perceive as complimentary behavior could come across as creepy, so hold off on using any pet-names or dirty talk until you know each other a little more. 

You’re using the wrong apps at the wrong time

Are you looking for something serious? Maybe you’re wondering what to do when online dating doesn’t work because you’re using the wrong app at the wrong time.

Different dating apps cater to different needs. If you’re looking for an exclusive relationship, spend time researching sites that help people meet long-term partners. 

Make sure to tailor your preferences to reflect your expectations too. That way you won’t waste time with someone whose desires don’t match yours. 

Timing is also important. If you’re looking for anything more than a hook-up, we advise meeting matches at sensible hours. 

If you’re only dating people in the early hours of the morning or late at night, they’re probably only looking to hookup. Think of the people you’d meet on a night out in a bar or club at that hour. Do you think you’d find “the one” in a bar at 3 a.m.? It’s unlikely.

Even if you’re bored and struggling to sleep, resist the urge to meet people during the wee hours if you’re hoping for a long-term partner. 

You’re staying online for too long before meeting

Once you get the hang of online dating chat, communicating online can be pretty comfortable. You can take all the time you want to come up with a good response. Better yet? You can open up without having to look someone in the eye. 

While these are all pros in favor of online dating, they can also create a sort of trap. If you don’t arrange to meet any matches in real life, then none of your conversations will ever result in a real-life connection.

Sure, asking someone out over text can feel daunting, but it’s worth it! After all, online dating’s aim is to create in-person relationships. 

If you feel a spark with one of your matches, ask them out. There’s no need to overthink it! 

Simply set up a date and time to meet as soon as possible. That way you won’t fall into the trap of an “online-only relationship”. 

If you’re unable to meet in person for a while because of social distancing, don’t stress. Set up a virtual date instead!

You’re not being picky enough

Having a bigger dating pool may seem like a foolproof way to ensure that you meet someone, but is it helpful? We don’t think so. 

If your goal is to meet “the one”, then you’re probably not going about it in the best way. Being picky and having standards is good, so long as they’re fair and healthy. 

It’s better to thoroughly invest your energy into a handful of potential suitors, than to sort of try with tons of them. So spend some time thinking about what you’re looking for before you go swiping again. 

As a rule of thumb, only swipe for matches that give you butterflies! That way you know you’ll put thought and care into how you represent yourself. 

Dating apps are designed to help us find love, but how we use them is important too. 

If you’ve reached the end of your tether and are stuck wondering what to do when online dating doesn’t work, take a look at our advice. Making these small changes can make a big difference. 

Jacqueline Gaultieri

About the author: Jacqueline Gaultieri

Jacqueline Gualtieri is a writer and blogger whose best friend once told her to quit her job and become a couples and sex therapist. Since she'd miss writing too much, she figured writing for The Date Mix would be the next best thing.

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