Dating After 40: 4 Surprising Benefits


Dating after 40 is a lot like dating at any other age. It can be exciting, confusing, and surprising. 

However, dating in your 40s also has some serious advantages. With age comes wisdom and experience. 

The better you know who you are and what you want, the better you’re able to choose a compatible partner who can satisfy your needs.

So, here are four surprising benefits to dating over 40.

The Perks of Dating After 40

You understand yourself better

When people date in their 20s or 30s, they often date unconsciously. This rarely leads to positive results. 

For example, did you choose to date people based only on sexual chemistry and not character in your 20s? If so, maybe you ignored important red flags that led you into dead-end relationships. 

Or did you go for subpar partners while you were dating in your 30s because you wanted to settle down quickly? Whatever your dating history, this chapter is a new slate. 

This time around you’re blessed with time and experience. You understand your past relationship patterns and what doesn’t work for you. 

Don’t rush the dating process or choose partners rashly, instead make different choices, look for new kinds of dates, and challenge your old status quo. Use your experience to your advantage! 

You know what you like

Dating after 40 isn’t just better because you know what you like, it’s better because you’re not afraid to express those likes and dislikes to other people.

You don’t have to pretend to like certain things so that you fit in or go out on a date when you’re not feeling it. Instead, you get to operate on your own schedule. This can feel pretty liberating. 

Being honest with yourself and others about what you’re into doesn’t mean you’re not open to trying new things, it just means that you’re sure of yourself and what you want. Feel empowered by that!

When you become more decisive it’s much easier for partners to know how to please you too, especially in the bedroom. 

Studies show that sex is better in your 40s, but the key to achieving a healthy sex life is to openly communicate with your partner. This means telling them your turn-ons and turn-offs and living in the moment. So, let your guard down and get chatting!

You can embrace your baggage

Dating after 40 means that you get to embrace every part of who you are, including your so-called baggage. 

The good news is that everyone has baggage when they’re older than 40. Whether that means you’re dating after a divorce, you’ve had children, or you’ve experienced a string of failed relationships, your baggage is what makes you who you are. Don’t feel ashamed of it. 

Instead of feeling embarrassed about your past, why not feel proud of it? After all, it’s what’s gotten you here to the present moment. 

Most of the time what you might perceive as obvious failures are not what other people see when they look at you. So, avoid being your own critic. 

With that in mind, try replacing the word baggage with experience. Little changes like this can help you feel proud of the lessons you’ve learned instead of weighed down by them.

You’ve got nothing but time

Without the rush of hormones from your 20s or the biological ticking clock of your 30s, you have nothing but time when you’re dating at this time of your life. 

This means you get to choose carefully when it comes to who you’d like to spend your time with. Being selective about who and what you devote your energy to can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life. After all, having high standards is important.

After 40, you’re free to enjoy yourself without any pressure. If you’re only interested in something casual, say it! And if you’re searching for “the one”, be open about that too. 

Take dating moment-to-moment and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Remember, at this point in your life, you don’t need a partner to complete your world, you want one to enhance it. 

If you do it right, then dating after 40 can be a breath of fresh air.

The trick is to change your outlook. Realize that this chapter is one to be enjoyed, not one to rush past.

By putting yourself first and listening to your heart, this phase of your love life could be your best one yet. Good luck!

About the author: Brianne Hogan

Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a "do what I say, not do what I do" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Her byline's been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.

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